Audubone and McGraw?

McBoner Steven made an astute observation when he called us an Audubon for the digital age.  Here's a closer look at the immature red-bellied, filmed using the latest in crystal-clear HD technology:



Eat your heart out John James.

nwb

The McBone Birdwatching Journal: Now in HD

So, I was talking to my buddy Jim on the phone the other day and lamenting the abysmal quality of my nature photography.  He seemed pretty distracted, which probably meant he was in the editing room or something, but I have to admit to being slightly hacked off at his apparent lack of interest in my problem.  Well, perhaps I was too hard on the guy, because when I came home from work yesterday I found a package on the doorstep.  Boy was I surprised to discover that ol' Jimmy had sent me one of his spares!  Now, thanks to technology (and the filmmaking savvy of my sometimes-pregnant wife), you can watch our videos in stunning SUPER HIGH DEFINITION:



This immature red-bellied woodpecker, whose youthful exuberance is captured here in crisp, clear HD imagery, has been picking at a luscious cake of nuts and seeds for the past several days.  Note the head, conspicuously lacking the trademark red cap it will develop in maturity, and the sheen of wide-eyed curiosity as first a moth and then a house finch zip by.

Ah, enjoy these moments, innocent fledgling, and a word of advice: the squirrels are watching, so feast, feast while you can!*

nwb



*Too late.  They got it

Of Birds n' Booze

As it turns out, yesterday's luna moth indeed prophesied good things to come.  Lately I've been prowling some of Lafayette's best birding turf in search of a red-headed woodpecker.  My persistence paid dividends today when we were treated to not one but two stunning examples of Melanerpes erythrocephalus.  For 20 minutes we watched as a mating pair circled Celery Bog in search of succulent, six-legged sustenance.  As if that wasn't enough, we officially achieved woodpecker nirvana when two pileated woodpeckers came bopping along.  I could hardly believe my luck and was almost surprised that an ivory-billed didn't turn up, just for the hell of it.

Now I invite you to enjoy these pictures of me drinking a Booth's martini on the rocks with a twist and three olives.  Notice the sweating glass, my quavering hand, and five elements--gin, vermouth, ice, citrus, olive--merging in beverage perfection.  What a miracle I was able to hold the camera steady:

Over the years I've cultivated a certain skill in mixing very excellent martinis.  That is not meant to be a boast but the recognition of a lifelong pursuit come to fruition.  But where I really excel is in drinking a martini.  Call it a vocation, a genius even.  We all have our talents; I'm one of the lucky few to have realized his early in life.

Happy Saturday, everyone!

nwb

The McBone Bugwatching Journal; A Great Big Green Winged Creature

This, easily the biggest bug I've ever seen, came bonking against our window with enough force for me to wonder what kind of bird was trying to get in.  Twice the size of a hummingbird and just as beautiful, the exhausted insect rested long enough on the front stoop for me to shoot a few photos with my favorite tool of espionage, the 'camera phone.'

What can this be but a really good Friday omen?

Goodnight, friends, and happy weekend.

nwb

Life at Fiddy

Gentle McBoners,

A couple of days ago McBone quietly surpassed the 50 billion hit mark, making us by far the most important cultural phenomenon since canned ravioli.  That's all thanks to you (and me obsessively refreshing every 30 seconds), and your continued allegiance to a blog that cut its teeth defending social justice.  We've kept up that important work and remain bound to our mission of crushing evil wherever it rears its ugly head.

We've packed a lot of crap into this fucker over the years.  Always we seek ways we can expand our boundaries in a quest to build a more peaceful, inclusive future.  Still, we have our limitations, and there are some things that McBone will never contain:

Advertisements.  We vow that this operation will never be driven by capitalism in any way, ever.

Baby blogging

Emulsified eggs and oil

Heat trapping gasses

Tax cuts for trillionaires

Midichlorians

Celebrations of Derek Jeter milestones

Olestra

Posts written by my brother

I could use this space to opine further on why health care is a right in any humane nation, or why Cleveland is the greatest city on earth, or what it will take for that city to win a title, or why marriage is a sacred union between one man and one woman--except when it isn't, or how our earth is going to whither and die unless we do something about it, but instead I think I'll take a time out to say thanks! to anyone who has ever taken the time to read a post since we got this ball rolling one cold February morn back in aught-seven.

nwb

Beetlemania

This Japanese beetle doesn't know it, but the wrath of McBone is about to descend up on it.  That's a shame really, because Japanese beetles, with their green and bronze carapaces, are among the lovelier bugs in the insect kingdom.

 If only they weren't so gluttonous.

That's the leaf from my Concord vine that I found this fellow munching on.  Japanese beetles are one of the great grapevine scourges in all of viticulture.  An infestation can defoliate entire vineyards in a matter of minutes--think of the proverbial cow-meets-piranha scenario.  No leaves means no photosynthesis.  That's bad news for everyone--grapes, vine and wino alike.

The pest is difficult to control on a commercial operation.  Luckily, a single vine is easy to manage--just pluck up a lunching bug with the thumb and forefinger apply the right amount of pressure...

nwb

What Recession?

Take a look at this awesome clout and tell me what's wrong here:



Nothing wrong at all with a game winning grand slam with one out in the bottom of the ninth.  That's just about the most exciting play in all of professional sports.  If only someone had been there to see it.

Yes it's true that I hate the Dolan ownership group, but I'm wondering if anyone in NE Ohio has checked the AL Central standings lately:

Cleveland     47 - 39

Detroit         47 - 42

Chicago        43 - 46

Minnesota     39 - 47

Kansas City   36 - 52

That's FIRST place, people.  In July.  The vast desert that is the upper deck is no longer acceptable.  The hell with the owners.  Celebrate the players and this pennant race, whatever it amounts to in the end.

Get to the park!

nwb

The McBone Not-a-Baby-Blog Challenge

Sorry, my creepy looking son.  It's timeout time for you.

At a tequila-soaked social gathering this past weekend, I was informed by several of the guests that posting twice about a burgeoning child officially makes any blog, regardless of how many years of non-baby blogging it has in the bank, a certified (and dreaded) 'baby blog.'  I was also told in no uncertain terms that titling a post 'Not a Baby Blog' does not negate the fact that the subsequent post is about the baby.

Aghast, I sought an escape from this doom: What will it take to not be a baby blog again?

There's nothing you can do.

What if I post 10 consecutive non-baby posts?

Maybe, but--

But you don't think I have what it takes.

No, and until you somehow manage, we'll be holding on to these...

To my horror, I discovered these besotted miscreants had somehow come into possession of my testicles, suspended in a briny liquid within a sealed mayonnaise jar.

So here we stand, McBoners.  It appears that not even my triumph at Wimbledon the following day can help me get my mojo back.  Thus ten baby-free posts are to follow.  I hereby endeavor to have all qualifiers effaced from my good blogging name until this baby blog is, once more, merely a blog.

nwb