Sunday, September 30, 2007

Nate Reads the Bible.

I'm no Christian. I never have been. That's not going to change anytime soon, but reading the bible is a project on which I've long meant to embark. Why? Well, roughly 80% of the US population is Christian. I wanna know why. Or at least I want to see what makes Christians tick. Moreover, as a student of literature, I recognize that the bible is an essential source text. I have a degree in English, but I have always felt my education somewhat lacking. Hell, aside from a few scattered passages, I have neglected the holy scripture altogether.

So here we go. My goal is as follows: I will dive into our Oxford Annotated Bible and react accordingly. I intend to read it straight through. As I'm sure this notion interests and benefits none but myself, I will endeavor to keep my posts short and succinct. I reserve the right to abort mission at any time.


Speaking of Christianity, McBone would like to say goodbye to Rex Humbard, a pioneering televangelist who made Akron his home. Alpha Rex Emmanuel Humbard, born to evangelical parents in Little Rock, Arkansas, died this month at the age of 88. His Cathedral of Tomorrow is now HQ to Ernest Angley and the world renowned Grace Cathedral. Humbard's legacy also includes an ugly concrete tower that was supposed to be a rotating restaurant but was only ever an ugly concrete tower.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Nate's Friday Sports Extravaganza!


Cheers to the Indians for clinching a playoff berth and zooming to the best record in the majors. Jeers to Joe Borowski for blowing his last two save opportunities, the second of which resulted in a loss that would have clinched home field advantage in the first round. No, seriously though, Borowski has been nothing short of terrific for this team, one whose season depended on having a solid bullpen. Borowski was signed to be a setup man. When Keith Foulke retired suddenly, all Borowski did was step in and save 43 games...and counting. His grade for the season? A-

And here's the rest of Nate's regular season report card:

The Dolans - The owners infamously don't spend much, it's true, but they must be given credit for letting GM Mark Shapiro and Eric Wedge run the team their way, win or lose. Grade: B

Shapiro - He's the architect of this team, and he has found away around not having a Yankee sized budget to work with. His offseason was lackluster, but he did make the midseason Kenny Lofton deal that gave the team and the fans a spark. Grade: B+

Wedge - When this team wasn't hitting, he kept his cool. When the losses were piling up, he kept his clubhouse upbeat. He seems to have learned a lot in the past two seasons, which were disappointing for different reasons. This year, he's made the right moves. Grade: A

Grady Sizemore - He has a great on base percentage, and he's a graceful center fielder, but what the hell is up with all the strikeouts? His numbers are down from a year ago, but he is still a difference maker. Almost every game he will do something positive, and he's a joy to watch on the basepaths. He'll finish with about 80 RBI, which is huge. Grade: B+

Kenny Lofton - His arrival gave the team a big, veteran boost. He is still a favorite at Jacobs Field, where he gets the loudes applause of any player. Grade: A

Franklin Gutierrez - Inserting him into the lineup in place of Trot Nixon made a huge difference. He can hit and field, both of which Nixon can no longer seem to do. Grade: B+

Jason Michaels, David Dellucci and Trot Nixon - Why bunch them together? Because they're all great clubhouse guys who can't play. I'm not sure why we signed all these backup outfielders, and they sure haven't provided much on the field, but they are, to a man, professionals. Grade: D

Travis Hafner - A huge disappointment and the DH somehow manages nearly 100 RBI. The discussion of the Tribe's offensive futility starts right here. I still think Pronk has something physically wrong, but for all his struggles, he's managed to be relatively productive. Grade: C-

Ryan Garko - Now is my time to be smug. I said at the end of last year that this guy was our everyday first baseman. He's a born hitter who does nothing in the field to embarrass himself, which was the fear. I love Garko because: a) he hits and hits, b) he looks like he's having the time of his life playing baseball for a living, and c) he looks like a 1950s boxer. Grade: A-

Josh Barfield - I was elated by the offseason aquisition of Barfield. I thought Shapiro had really pulled off a coup. Turns out I was wrong. Barfield can pick it at second, but at the plate he looks like he's swinging a limp noodle for a bat. I still think he's got talent, but the sophomore jinx got him for sure. Grade: D.

Asdrubal Cabrera - I said it before, and I will say it again: Cabrera will never play in the minors again. He is already the best fielder on the team at any position, and he can handle a bat. He was tossed right into the middle of a pennant race and, like Lofton, provided a spark. He will be the shortstop of this club very, very soon. Grade: A

Jhonny Peralta - Sigh. What could be... If only he laid off the low and away pitch. If only he went to the opposite field more, where his true power is. Still it's hard to argue with 20+ homers and 70+ RBI at the shortstop position, where, incidentally, he has a great arm and no range whatever. Grade: B-

Casey Blake - Another consummate pro who fields whatever position he is asked to play and does not hit with runners in scoring position. Still, his impact is positive, and he'll come up with a big hit now and then. Grade: B

Chris Gomez - I admit I didn't even realize Gomez was still in the league. He has been a huge upgrade over Mike Rouse as a utility guy. He hits and fields well, which is all you can ask for. Grade: A

Victor Martinez - 111 RBI say it all. Great hitter who VASTLY improved his throwing this year. He relishes his role as the leader of a team with great chemistry. Indians co-MVP. Grade: A+

Kelly Shoppach - He has a power arm and he has even driven in a few runs. Really he is a superb backup who will be a starter someday, somewhere in the league. Grade: A-

C.C. Sabathia - Along with Victor, he is the MVP of this team. Sometime last year, C.C. decided he was going to be the ace of this staff. Since then he has been pretty much unhittable. Great arm with an attitude to match. Grade: A+

Fausto Carmona - From 1-10 last year to 19-9 this year. When he failed so crashingly as a closer last year, I had him pegged for a headcase with a great arm. Well, I'm an idiot. Fausto is a born starter, and he makes hitters look bad. Grade: A+

Paul Byrd - In spite of recent struggles, Byrd has been very, very solid. He never walks a batter and never gives in, even when the bases are littered. Has been as good this year as he was bad last year. Grade: B

Jake Westbrook - I've always been a Westbrook fan. I love how he works fast and goes right after guys. His injuries this year really set him back, but he has rounded into shape. In the playoffs he is my number 3 starter. Grade: C+

Aaron Laffey - He's held down the number 5 spot in the rotation, but he doens't inspire awe. Ideally Cliff Lee or Jeremy Sowers are starters, not Laffey. Grade: C

Lee and Sowers - What happened to these guys? Grade: F

Aaron Fultz - He has pitched well enough in non-pressure situations. Overall he's been a reliable lefty out of the pen, but clearly Wedge doesn't trust him with the game on the line. Mostly he's come as advertised, which is average. Grade: C

Tom Mastny - It seems a decade ago that Mastny was a sort of last ditch closer, though it was but a year ago. Now he's a long relief righty that has been mediocre. Grade: C

Jensen Lewis - I like Lewis' arm. He throws hard and all his stuff moves and his effectiveness of late has gained the trust of Wedge. He could certainly have a future on this club if he keeps it up. Grade: B

Rafael Perez - He has been a lights-out southpaw. That he didn't make the club out of spring training shows how flaky bullpens are. Unhittable this year against batters from both sides of hte plate. Grade: A+

Rafael Betancourt - He's the MVP of the bullpen. Betancourt has always been a proficient reliever with a big arm. This year he has been the glue of the pitching staff. Now he's as focused and as nasty as I've ever seen him. His immutable presence on the mound is impressive, but I loved his emotional reaction after closing out the playoff clinching game against Oakland. Grade: A+

Roberto Hernandez, Jason Stanford and Fernando Cabrera (what an arm, but alas...) - Yuck. Grade: F


This week McBone mourns the loss of Ted Stepien, who, along with Art Modell, represents the absolute nadir of Cleveland sports ownership. Stepien, who very nearly cost the city our basketball team, died September 1oth at the age of 82. During his tenure as owner, the Cavaliers compiled a record of 66 - 180. By trading high draft picks for crap players, Stepien robbed the team of all talent, but was visionary enough to pipe polka into the Richfield Coliseum.


That the kick was blocked is irrelevant. The game against the Raiders should never have come down to a field goal. Somehow, the Browns didn't show up to a game against a horrible team that would have put them above .500 for the first time in what seems like 45 years.

Good luck against Baltimore.


Nate's unreasonable prediction of the week.

An Indian will actually be awarded a postseason honor (Sabathia. Cy Young).

Ten Things I Hate

Hate. It's a strong word and one of the most overused in the English lexicon. Let's face it, when it comes to our everyday speech patterns, we love to hate. But what is hate, really?'s entry for hate reads as follows: to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward.

I think the key word here is extreme. Hate is an extreme word that should, in reality, be reserved for things that truly elicit an extreme emotion.

With this in mind, I have compiled a list of things for which I feel an extreme aversion.

1. George W. Bush - His legacy will speak for itself: an unjustified war, tax cuts for the wealthy, abetting the energy industry, thwarting environmentalism, repressing gays, bungling Katrina, cronyism, torture, wiretapping, paranoia. Lately? He has vowed to veto a bill that will expand the State Children's Health Insurance Program by 35 billion dollars over 4 years, allowing 4 million of our nation's uninsured children to be covered. Meanwhile we hemhorrage billions into a bullshit war.

2. The New York Yankees - The Evil Empire of sports. Vile. Ruthless. Dispicable. For 100 years the Yankees have tortured my Indians and other rival baseball clubs, winning 39 pennants and 26 World Series since their inception in 1901. In recent history they have earned a playoff berth in 13 consecutive seasons, a run that includes 4 championships. How do they do it? Certainly not the old fashioned way. The Yankees overspend for free agent talent at every position, rarely cultivating players from their minor league system.

3. Mayonnaise (aka the White Menance) - Condiment of the damned. Creamy and repugnant, mayonnaise has been adulterating salads and sandwiches for centuries. My swimming pool in hell will be filled with this vile mixture of egg yolks and vegetable oil.

4. Homophobia - A charming sentiment that has the Larry Craigs of the world resorting to bathroom stalls.

5. Musicals - The Sound of Music, 42nd Street, West Side Story, Grease, Showboat, Guys and Dolls, Mary Poppins, Annie Get Your Gun, Phantom of the Opera, Cats, Oklahoma, Avenue Q, Thoroughly Modern Millie...the list goes on and on. At every turn there is some musical, some insufferably cornball musical, waiting to ruin my day.

6. Pollution - It's not so slowly killing the planet. Belongs higher on the list.

7. Gas pains - They can happen to anyone at any time. You know the feeling. There you are, minding your own business when it hits you, like cumbustion in the bowls. You double over, groan for mercy, try to break wind, but nothing works. Why in the name of all that is holy, must this affliction, one I could not in good conscience wish on my worst enemy, be borne?

8. Meat Loaf (the musician, not the food) - I hate Meat Loaf for two reasons: I Would Do Anything for Love, and, the worst song ever written, Paradise by the Dashboard Light. Arg! Arg! Arg!

9. American flag lapel pins - Found predominantly on the lapels of republican politicians, lest we forget: they're American and, dammit, they love America!

10. SUVs - Big, ugly guzzlers of gasoline.

Got any hates you'd like to express? Feel free to post 'em here!


Sunday, September 23, 2007

Central Division Champs!

It's official. After knocking off the Oakland Athletics this afternoon, the Cleveland Indians are back in the playoffs.
McBone would like to congratulate the Tribe, the 2007 American League Central Division champions! The award is the club's 7th since 1995 and the first since 2001.
A long road lay behind manager Eric Wedge's squad, which suffered through a final-week meltdown to miss the postseason in 2005, followed by a lackluster 2006 campaign (the result of the catastrophic trade of Coco Crisp to Boston prior to the season) that had many fans screaming for Wedge's dismissal. This year it was a combination of great starting pitching, a lights-out bullpen and timely (to be generous) hitting that assured northern Ohio at least a few games of October baseball.
Credit general manager Mark Shapiro for putting the team together, and Wedge for maintaining great chemistry all season long. Even during a dismal August the Tribe were able to stay afloat before mounting a rally that left rival Detroit eating dust.
Let's hope that the Indians tear through the other AL qualifiers and capture the team's sixth pennant. Go Tribe!
PS. Coming soon: 2007 playoff preview.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Nate's Friday Sports Extravaganza!


The magic number is down to three after a three-game sweep of the Detroit Tigers, whose own playoff hopes have disintegrated into virtually nothing. In other words, break out the proverbial fork. Later, Tigers. You failed to hold leads in every game of the series, a series which, in fact, you needed to sweep. Try again next year, Leyland and Co.

It is nice to exact, no matter how minute, some measure of revenge against Leyland for what happened in the '97 series.

There are three viable candidates for the Cy Young award in the AL: C.C. Sabathia, Fausto Carmona and Josh Beckett. My choice? Sabathia. He beat Johan Santana three times this year and Justin Verlander twice. Both are the aces of rival teams in the East. C.C. has owned them.

Everyone's been praising Rafael Betancourt and Rafael Perez, but we got a nice look at what Jensen Lewis can do Monday night against Detroit, when Paul Byrd was not at his best. Lewis came in and held the Tigers scoreless for three innings. He has pretty nasty looking stuff and he was pounding the strike zone with it. If he could do this on a consistent basis, what a nice addition he would be to what has become a lockdown bullpen.

You want to know one of the keys to the success of the Tribe's pitching? Control. Carmona has walked 57 batters all season--an excellent number and, incidentally, the most on the club. Sabathia has walked 36, Byrd a ridiculous 26, Perez 14 and Betancourt 9. In all that's a combined 142 walks in about 748 innings. Their strikeouts? 543. Great, great K/BB ratio. The walk is easily the worst play a pitcher can make. Even a fat pitch can be popped up, or beat into the ground, or missed altogether. A walk? Nothing good can come of it.

Conversely, the Indians batters strike out waaay too much. Their achilles heel all season has been the K. In the AL only Tampa Bay and Texas have struck out more. Too many times the Tribe have loaded the bases only to have the next couple of batters be unable to make contact. Put the ball in play! In the playoffs this will be critical.

You don't hear too many calls for Wedge to be fired anymore, do you? Manager of the year is the new tune being sung.

I am going to the ballgame tomorrow with my buddy Than. Fausto Carmona will be going for his 18th win. Who the hell saw this season coming for Carmona? I mean, we knew he had the potential, right? But after his stint as closer, I, at least, was wondering if this guy had the mental makeup. Now we'll see how he handles playoff pressure.

Tomorrow I plan on having two hotdogs with Stadium Mustard, the official mustard of McBone.


I know nothing about football. Nothing. Sunday's game proves it. I really thought the Bengals would come in and beat the Browns 42-3. And maybe the Bengals did too...

What was truly great about that game was seeing all these tremendous offensive weapons being used to their potential. Braylon Edwards making acrobatic catches. Kellen Winslow making first downs and picking up 100 yards. Joe Jurevicius catching two TD passes.

Then there's Jamal Lewis. Nobody's going to pine for Reuben Droughns this season I predict. Lewis became just the fourth Brown to ever run for 200 yards in a game. The others? Jim Brown, Bobby Mitchell and Greg Pruitt, who was the last to do so, in 1975.

How nice to see Lewis gain 200 for us.

I, for one, did not think Derek Anderson could do what he did. Five touchdown passes. Wow.

Where did all this offense come from? The offensive line. Joe Thomas and Eric Steinbach looked a lot more comfortable out there, didn't they? The line looked a lot more cohesive. Let's see them against a good defense, though, because the Bengals don't have that.

Neither do the Browns. Crennel is a defensive mastermind, but it sure ain't showing here. So far I like Kamerion Wimbley, D'Qwell Jackson, Antwan Peek and I've always been an Orpheus Roye fan. Otherwise our always-battered secondary is, well, battered. Ted Washington is looking washed up, taking up a lot of space but not getting much done. Andra Davis plays hard but is no star. I could go on with the problems, but suffice it to say the Browns defense is a sobering reminder not to get carried away after a big win. A big offseason will be needed to get better, because an average of five touchdown passes a week isn't going to win many games.

I am thrilled that the Browns have signed punter Scott Player, not because he'll be a reliable replacement for Dave Zastudil, but because he wears the classic single bar facemask that has otherwise gone the way of the dodo (NOML officials are at a loss as to what to make of his moustache, however).

Everyone's saying it, and I agree: Josh Cribbs is the most exciting player on the team. Use him more on offense!


41 days until tipoff.

I really hope Zydrunas Ilgauskas has been working on his hook shot this offseason, because it is probably the ugliest thing I've ever seen. Uglier, even, than Mike Sanders' jump shot.

Nate's unreasonable prediction of the week

The Browns - Oakland game will be a preview of the AFC title game.


The Greening Project Continues...

Total incandescent light bulbs replaced by a high efficiency florescent bulb (cfl) as of 9/20/07: 17. Total remaining: 53. It is McBone's goal to replace 90% of the incandescent bulbs at McBone headquarters by August 2008 and thus reduce our carbon footprint.

Special thanks to McBoner Mike for pointing out that these bulbs, while 60% more efficient than an incandescent light, do contain mercury. Please recycle.


Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I'm Voting for Mike Gravel

No fog. No bullshit.

I don't agree with all that Mike Gravel says. He has my vote. I believe that our country has to make a massive shift to the left, and the two candidates would provide that are Gravel and Kucinich. Listen to Gravel's interview, free entirely of equivocation.

Now, listen to Obama, especially on the question of taking money from lobbyists. Listen to how he dances around the issue and in essence says nothing, trying to obfusscate for as long as he can:

He is asked a simple question. His reply is a vague "no." The real answer is obvious: yes, he takes money from lobbyists.

I will throw up if I have to vote for Clinton, Obama or Edwards. Listen to them speak. They're the hypnotists, passing off empty rhetoric as eloquence.


Ahoy, Me Hearties!

Arr! Fifteen stout men fer me crew, and a breath o' wind in me sails! Avast, ye scurvy dogs! Break out th' rum, or it's yer guts we'll be usin' to swab the decks! 'Tis I, Soloman Dunn, captain of the Crimson Sun! Surrender, else to Davey Jones' locker I'll send ye! Thar be gold and riches to be had, adventure, and many a fine, bonny lass. Mutiny! I'll have yer liver fer me breakfast, and a pint of hot blood in me cup! Fifteen paces past the coconut tree, and X marks the spot!

If ye be likin' pirates as much as me, and have had a proper schoolin', then get ye this here bit o' readin': Dancing with Jack Ketch.


Saturday, September 15, 2007

On the Eve of My Execution...

Capital punishment--it's a sticky issue that has no good solution. Yet, regardless of one's position on the matter, I think it's safe to say that we all share a curious and rather morbid fascination with a prisoner's last meal. Now, just why is that? I suppose it's because it gives us a means to put ourselves into the most favorable moment of this rather unenviable position. We don't like to envision ourselves strapped to the chair, but we can perhaps see ourselves accepting this one last concession to the doomed.

So, what would my last meal be? On the eve of my execution, barring any restrictions, here is my menu:

For starters:

A Beefeater martini on the rocks with a twist and three olives (I'm sipping one as I write).
A dozen and a half oysters on the half shell, served ice cold with lemon and cocktail sauce.
A bowl of my grandmother's leek and watercress soup.

Main course:

Roast beef and Yorkshire pudding with gravy.
Edelweiss hefeweizen (not the perfect marriage of drink and food, but then it's my last meal, not yours).
Asparagus with Hollandaise sauce.

I'm still hungry:

An assortment of French cheeses, specifically: roquefort, brie, morbier and chevre, all served at room temperature.
A nice crusty baguette.
A robust bottle of Haut-Médoc.


Warm homemade blueberry pie and a scoop of Breyer's vanilla ice cream.
Coffee. Good coffee. Not shitty coffee, like Starbucks. The last thing I drink on earth better not be shitty, undrinkable Starbucks coffee (honestly, why do people think it's good?).

McBone wants to know: if faced with the gas chamber, the gallows or the hangman's noose, what would you want to eat? Feel free to comment in as much detail as you please.

Bon appétit!


Thursday, September 13, 2007

Nate's Friday Sports Extravaganza!

Wow, what a week!


I had the priviledge of attending Sunday's game against the Steelers. I can say without reservation that it was the single worst performance by any professional sports team that I have ever seen. I have seen ugly baseball games. I have seen ugly basketball games. Considering that a single game in football carries more weight than in the other two major sports, this was the ugliest of the ugly. Some highlights:

FOUR penalties on ONE PLAY to go along with a botched punt by fill-in punter Paul Ernster. In the ugliest game ever, this was the ugliest play, and it set up an immediate Steelers touchdown. This happened in the first possession of the day.

Charlie Frye's interception. This was in the Brown's second possession, and it set up a field goal.

The Browns being down 17-0 in about 4 seconds and everyone in the stadium knowing it was all over already.

Charlie getting sacked 5 times in a QUARTER AND A HALF.

Derek Anderson throwing behind his receivers on what seemed like almost every pass.

The Browns defense completely mailing it in the second half.

Romeo Crennel being outclassed by a rookie coach.

The team being unprepared in every possible way.

An actual highlight was Gene Hickerson's Hall of Fame halftime tribute. They wheeled the Browns great--now ravaged by Alzheimer's disease--onto the turf and his son gave a touching tribute. The reel of footage they played was the only good football the crowd got to watch all afternoon.

My hotdog was delicious, but it kind of hurts to pay 21 dollars for two beers, two dogs and then be forced to watch that kind of a game. If we have to pay NFL prices for concessions, the organization could please do us the courtesy of providing a real NFL team. I mean, please. The average Browns fan is shelling out a large portion of a paycheck to watch this shit. In eight years we have seen a team go from bad to worse. And the beer was Coors Light!!!

Romeo Crennel, if his team performs against the Bengals on Sunday like it did against Pittsburgh, should be sacked. There is no reason for his team to be so disorganized. There is no reason to be flipping a coin to decide who your starters will be.

Also noteworthy was listening to the coast guard choir sing every single patriotic song in the patriotic song canon while a football field-sized American flag was unfurled. Surreal. Bizarre. Excessive.

Charlie Frye getting traded pretty much sums up how fucking absurd quarterback controversies are. The media spent weeks, months hyping up the QB situation in Cleveland. Frye was named the starter. Less than a week later he is gone. We all know who the starter will be in about two weeks. We also know who the first quarterback to be injured will be. Can you guess? Clue: his last name has the same amount of letters as Couch.

Before Sunday's game I kept hearing the phrase "Season of Dreams" floating around. Well, all the empty seats proved that not everyone out there was fooled, and the game itself sobered everyone else up real fast. You will not hear this line again for a long, long time.

Indians - Magic number: 11

Ah, a good, nay!, a very good team. The Indians just wrapped up a 7-3 road trip. Most impressive was that they split with the Angels after dropping the first two of a four game series. This team is going to be very, very tough to deal with in the postseason. And they will be in the postseason, barring a Cleveland-type meltdown.

C.C. Sabathia. He is the Cy Young winner in my books. He has owned Santana and Verlander this season and he has the chance to win 2o. He won't win, because he's from Cleveland, but when you outshine the A.L.'s best pitcher (Santana) all year, you deserve some recognition.

Your 2007 A.L. playoff teams: Cleveland, Boston, Los Angeles of Anaheim (or whatever they're calling themselves now) and, arg!, New York. I so enjoyed watching the Yankees 200 billion dollar payroll flounder all season, but, alas...

Asdrubal Cabrera. Now hear this, Cleveland: you are watching a rare talent. Do you see how he is in the middle of everything? Do you see how comfortable he looks in a major league setting? Cabrera is for real, so enjoy watching a true natural play the game.

Prediction: This is Cliff Lee's last season in a Tribe uniform.

Prediction II: Cabrera will never play in the minor leagues again.

The Indians have, in my book, four Cy Young candidates. Sabathia, Fausto Carmona, Rafael Perez and Rafael Betancourt. Each has been amazing in his respective role. Of course, setup men are never considered for this award, but the league is batting .188 against Betancourt, and for the past two years, Perez has given up exactly 1 extra base hit to left handed hitters. Find a better lefty/righty tandem in baseball. You can't. Where would this light hitting team be without them? Fighting Kansas City and Chicago for last place, is where.

You know what's been really gratifying about this season? The Tribe has owned the Central Division. Really, it's a complete turnaround from last year.

You know what's been really scary about this season? The Red Sox and especially the Yankees have owned the Indians.

Jim Thome's 499 home runs aren't really making a lot of headlines, are they? Why is that? Maybe because home runs are about a dime a dozen these days. Also, his team is horrible, but HORRIBLE. Thome is a hall of famer, but it's tough to get excited about this former Indian and all the homers he should still be hitting in a Tribe uniform. I mean, did he really sign a contract with the Phillies? I still can't get my head around that one.


LeBron had laser surgery on his eyeballs. Whee!

Baseball won't last forever. The basketball season really can't get here soon enough. Same goes for the Lake Erie Monsters. Anything but the Browns.

Nate's unreasonable predition of the week:

The Browns will win three games this season. OK, two.


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The Greening Project

70 incandescent lights. I counted them myself. I never would have guessed there were that many in my parents' house, but there are. 70 wasteful, damaging, outmoded and irresponsible incandescent light bulbs screwed into the sockets of our home. 70 bulbs burning fossil fuels and wasting money.
So McBone is going green. We're starting by making sure that as many incandescent lights as possible are replaced with an efficient, long lasting compact florescent light bulb (cfl), which uses 60% less energy than a regular bulb but produces the same amount of light.
We have one world to live in. One planet to pass on to our children. Our government has been negligent when it comes to global warming, but we don't have to be. There's so much we can do at home that will help keep the earth clean. Why not take this simple step? Your energy bill will go down and so will toxic carbon emissions. Find out more about cfls from the Energy Federation.
Total incandescent bulbs replaced as of 9/12/07: 11

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

McBone Apologizes

Gentle McBoners,

Due to a five-day internet outage at McBone Inc., we have been unable to provide the usual updates to the blog many of you have come to depend on. We can only apologize and offer our most sincere promise that the technicians at McBone Inc. are working around the clock to make sure that this unfortunate circumstance never happens again.

We at McBone thank you for your continued readership.

McBone Inc.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Reason #99 to Love Cleveland Sports: Hot Rod's Box

Cavs great John "Hot Rod" Williams. For nine seasons (1986-'95) he wore a Cavaliers uniform, half of them as a devastating backup forward, half battling valiantly as an undersized starting center.

We remember Hot Rod for many reasons. He had an unorthodox free throw shooting style where he would cock the ball almost directly behind his head (he also had a maddening habit of missing one of two). He was a great shot blocker--good for two a game. He could score, rebound, even pass a little. More than anything, though, we remember his box hairstyle--easily the finest in NBA history.

Boxes were high style when Hot Rod was manning the frontcourt at Richfield Coliseum, and he stuck with it long after they went out of fashion. Standing at 6'11", at least three of those inches belonged to his towering and immortal box.

McBone Inc.

PS. The NOML salutes Hod Rod's excellent moustache.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Poor Larry Craig

I mean that. If the United States was truly the idealistic beacon that some people seem to think it is (you know, the ones with the little US flag lapel pins), then Larry Craig could be a gay man and not have to compromise his career and his family by having to sneak around bathroom stalls.

I feel sorry for Larry Craig. He was so desperate to conceal his sexual preference that he became a conservative republican. Too bad those impulses were stronger than his adopted convictions.

Now his career is gone.

Fuck homophobia.


PS. Note the US flag pin on Craig's lapel.