Friday, August 31, 2012

A Defense of Mormonism from an Atheist's Perspective

Mitt Romney accepted the nomination for Republican candidate for the presidency tonight.  He is the first Mormon to reach such high heights in the history of US politics.

There is no chance I will vote Romney in November, but I do take exception when his critics, particularly some of the more outspoken Christian leaders, refer to his religion as a cult.

From an atheist's point of view, a Mormon is no more cultish than a Roman Catholic.  Or a Baptist.  Or a Presbyterian.  Or a Jew.  Or a Muslim.  Or a Scientologist.  Or a Branch Davidian.  Honestly, is the Book of Mormon really that far fetched?  What's another testament or two when you've already bought into the virgin birth?  I know many of these denominations have the benefit time on their side, but they all seem equally made up to me.

So believe what you like and I'll believe what I like and we'll all let Romney believe what he likes, because that's how it's supposed to go around here, isn't it?


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Five Years, Ode To LC

Life is a crazy journey and if my first 30 years are any indication of what the next 30 will be like, well then, I am going to look back at age 60 and be able to say I've been a very lucky man. I have an incredible family, amazing friends and a career that I love. 

But reflection is very important to me and I believe very strongly in the saying that you can't know where you are going unless you know where you've been.  I am going to try and make this post short and sweet (not likely with my track record), but most importantly I hope I can articulate clearly some things I want Lauren to know.

I met Lauren Fairchild in April of 2007 as I was starting my career with the Cavaliers organizatrion. We actually started dating about two months after my first day and living together not too long after that.  It took me about 10 minutes to realize what type of person Lauren is, and not too much longer to fall in love with her. Now here we are more than five years later, and we've decided that we need to continue life's journey separately, on different paths.  However, that is not what this post is really about.

Lauren just in case I never said these things enough, or at all for that matter, here you go:

1.) You are a beautiful person both inside and out.  Pretty simple here.  Don't let anyone ever tell you different.  And if they do, give me a call and I'll take care of it.

2.) Forget being one of the most talented women I have ever met, you are one of the most talented people I have ever met.  Lauren you have accomplished amazing things already and you can do whatever you set your mind too.  Athletically you were an amazing gymnist, now you are running marathons, teaching health and fitness classes, and helping so many people live healthier lives. Professionally you achieved tremendous success in a male dominated sports industry and could just as easily still be flourshing working for us or any other team.  Instead you completely changed directions and will undoubtedly now dominate the financial sector.  There are not many people that I know who would even have the guts to do what you did, let alone be talented enough to have success in two completely different professions. Regardless, wherever and whenever you find your true professional passion I know that you will be a superstar.  Hint Hint: Open your own gym and be a full time fitness professional!!

3.) There are not too many people as competitive, driven, stubborn, and bull-headed as I am. But I met my match with you.  One of the many things that I really love about you.

4.) You are one of the most unselfish, put together, organized, and practical people I have ever met.  You truly changed the man I was and the man I will always be as I move forward in my life.  I am a total work in progress but there are things that I will never be able to repay you for teaching me.  I can't list them all, because this is supposed to be short and sweet, but you know what they are.  So thank you.

5.) HOME - We built a home together (with some initial help from Kalister of course) that is full of so many amazing memories, some nasty ones too, arguments, incredible parties, and a place that has always been a welcome place for the people we care about the most.  We lived, worked and played in one of the most amazing cities in the world.

Last but not least....

6.) Love, Respect, Family.  Love -  I will always love you, unconditionally.  Respect - I will always have a deep and profound respect for you as a person and what our relationship has meant to me.  FAMILY - No matter where we are in our lives you will ALWAYS be my family.  FOR LIFE.

Fairch - I know I am a handful and I'm well aware that I didn't always make it easy.  But the last five years have helped shape who I am as an adult, and I wouldn't trade our time together for anything in the world.

LIFE IS ABOUT LOVE!  Onward and Upward.


Thursday, August 16, 2012

Toasting Twelve Years

Twelve years, one woman.  Remarkable, right?  I agree, and in the days leading up to the big date, it occurred to me that a cool dozen necessitated a really hot gift.  When I mentioned that a week in Monte Carlo might be just the thing, my sometimes-logical wife suggested that the casinos would probably be off limits to the McBonerito.  My lament that this kid was 'cramping our style' was largely ignored, though, and I resigned myself to the idea that the anniversary present would have to be smaller, perhaps something that could be boxed and wrapped.  But what to give the woman who has everything?

It was at breakfast that it hit me.  As my wife worked over the whites of a pair of fried eggs, she was faced with the weekly conundrum of what to do with the yolks.  With no efficient way of consuming the messy yellow blobs, she had adopted several clever ways of disposing of them.  But our dealer in aquaria recommended she cease plopping them in the fish tank, and our house plants, instead of thriving from the boost in omega 3 fatty acids, died slow, torturous deaths.  Cooking the yoke through was no kind of option, and yet how to sop up that pool of goo?  We needed something spongelike, and yet not quite a sponge.

Suddenly, like 1,800 watts of electricity, it hit me.  I hopped into the McBonemobile and was soon prowling the aisles of our local appliance store.  I spotted the silvery R-7 right off.  Like a muscle car of old, it sat there, a vigorous, latent thing.

The circling shark of a salesman smelled blood.

That's the model I'd choose, he said.  I caught him sizing me up.  Perhaps he was appraising my skinny frame when he said, of course, a machine like that isn't for everyone.

This happens to be for my wife.  Anniversary present.

The portly gent exhaled a fume of pastrami and mustard.  Probably too much toaster for a woman, he chuckled.

Five minutes later he was loading the R-7 into the McBonemobile.  The next morning, my sometimes-observant wife found the device sitting on the counter.  After calming her tearful euphoria, we started toasting some toast.  Six-slice capacity, stainless steel chassis, 'top brown' setting...truly, this toaster had it all.

I fired up the skilled and gave the shells a good crack.

How do you want your eggs, my dear?

Runny, she purred.

Happy anniversary, babe.