Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Amendment II Switcheroo

Last week our friends at Idle Musings got us thinking about guns and gun control and those who would literally rather die than give up their firearms (and wear toupees rather than give up their youth).  As I read the excellent post, I started wondering, what if it was the other way around?  What if the 2nd Amendment forbade us to keep and bear arms?  Would that make any difference at all?  Would all the star-spangled patriots out there rally to the cause of gun control?  Would Trayvon Martin still be alive if our Constitution prohibited George Zimmerman from owning a handgun?

I doubt it.  Because, for all their noise, I don't think NRA types give two shits what the Constitution says.  Hell, they're already ignoring it.

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Ever notice how they sort of skirt around the 'well regulated Militia' part?  That seems like a pretty significant condition for gun ownership to me.  I don't think I know anyone in a militia (aside from our Poet Laureate), and I know TONS of people (37 facebook friends and counting).  Oh, and have you ever noticed how the very idea of regulation gets the gun lobby foaming at the mouth?  No, I don't think it would make much of a difference at all, except that, in that my Bizarro version of America, where people are proud to pay taxes, Cleveland always wins and the Constitution prohibits citizens from owning guns, I'd be the one pointing to Amendment II, while they would be the ones deconstructing it, searching for loopholes, finding them and, ultimately, getting their guns.  Or else they'd just own them illegally.  Either way, Trayvon Martin dies.

So I won't entertain the hope that guns will go away, but I could do without the rhetoric.  I wish the gun nuts would stop pretending that weapons are somehow good for us.  I wish they would ditch their silly justifications and admit that they love guns for the same reason babies love to bang pots and pans together.


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

O, What a Difference a Day Makes

Remember how I was complaining about yesterday being total shit?

Exact opposite today.

Obama 2012!


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Recap: Shittiest Day Ever

Today was one shitty day.  Epically shitty.  Let's recap, in order of shittiness.

1) Maurice Sendak dies.  There will never be another like him, and 82 earthly years was far too short a duration for such endless, otherworldly imagination.

2) North Carolina voters ban gay marriage.  Someday the US Supreme Court will take this decision out of the hands of ignorant, imbecilic  voters.

3) Richard Lugar loses his primary challenge to Tea Party-backed Richard Mourdock.  I did something today that I never did before and will likely never do again: I cast a vote for a Republican.  Yes, I voted for Richard Lugar, which felt a bit like five minutes swimming through bilge-water, but also reminded me fondly of when I was a Republican for a month.  I did it because Richard Lugar is one of the few remaining Republican legislators not guided by raging hysteria and blind obstinacy.  I did it in the name of compromise.  And I did it because I just can't abide this new breed of conservative, who touts his brand of patriotism as supreme and won't stop waving the constitution in our faces, as if to say 'if you'd just read it, you might actually get it.'

4) We spent about 10 hours cleaning this godforsaken house, and it's still a freaking mess.

So that's it.  Five minutes to go for May 8th, 2012.  When I get the Delorean up and running, remind me not to revisit this goddam shitty-ass day ever again.