Thursday, April 1, 2010

Obama Lurks in Shadows

Today Alex was on a panel at school discussing various issues, the topic of which have little bearing on this post.

What's important is that at one point Alex noticed that a few kids in the back row of the auditorium were distracted.  When discussing the panel afterwards, an instructor (an African American woman), explained that these students were like this for every panel session, and that last week, determined to know the source of their distraction, she discovered they had a laptop, which they quickly attempted to conceal.  When she pressed them about what they were looking at, they confessed: it was an online gun retailer.  They wanted to buy guns, it seems, because they needed to protect themselves.  From what? the instructor asked.  From Obama, they answered.

Smart move, because after a grueling day in the Oval Office, there's nothing Obama enjoys more than creeping into dormitories to feast on slumbering undergrads.  With a belly distended with pulpy, masticated college republicans, the president gallops back to Washington and purges his load into a trough (and stirs in two cups of frozen corn) so that his wife, spawn, and the Obama puppy may sup one and all upon the bilious stew.

And don't look now, but He of the Cloven Hoof is also comin' at you with: 

-Health care reform.  Because Obama wants you healthy when he eats you.

-Tax credits for working-class Americans.  More money means more food on the table.  Obama likes his victims nice and plump.

-Expanded stem cell research.  Curing disease?  Nah.  For Obama there's nothing like a piping hot cup of stem cells after dinner.

-A sticky socialist discharge.

Sadly, guns are forbidden on school property.  So sleep with one eye open, college dudes.  If you catch a whiff of Obama's fetid breath, kiss your life (and your freedom!) goodbye.



Kid Shay said...

Egads! When Obama is comin' at ya, be ready to cross the streams!

McBone said...

Yeah, it's hilarious that they think an ordinary gun will save them.