Thursday, August 29, 2013

The Wahoo Chop

I love Cleveland and I love baseball, but watching a team with jerseys and caps adorned with this dumbass image:

play a team whose fans do this fucking thing on a nightly basis:

is pretty hard to take.

After cringing my way through nine innings last night, I had to wonder: why is this kind of stereotyping of Native Americans embraced, when we wouldn't tolerate it for any other race?  Or am I giving people too much credit?  Would most of us be fine if the ballclub in Cleveland changed its name to the Chinks and slapped a smiling, slant-eyed, yellow-skinned buffoon on the hat?  Would we buy the merchandise and wear it with pride?

I like to think not, but the rabidity with which fans defend Wahoo and the Chop makes me wonder.


Saturday, August 24, 2013

Michigan, FTW

Typical Indiana roadside billboard:

Typical Michigan roadside billboard:

I'm in the right state.


Thursday, August 15, 2013

Advantages of Working from Home

Here's a confession I will doubtless be made to regret: I miss my coworkers.  There, you bastards, I said it.  Five years is no small hunk of time to spend each day with more or less the same group of people, and I can say with a straight face that I grew fonder of them as the days went by.  A few times a year, things would get pretty hectic around that old bookstore, but my friends were always there to pick me up.  And of course nothing was better than when Marcelita showed up with some of the good cooking she should be serving at her own restaurant.

That said, you can't beat working from home!  Though I've only been at it for three weeks, the advantages have already begun to reveal themselves:

More time spent with my sometimes-popular wife.

More time with the McBonerito.

25-minute driving commute reduced to 3.5 second walk to office.

Gas-chugging McBonemobile stays parked.

No fucking fax machine.

Record player essential office equipment.


Nerfoop brainstorming sessions.

Two hour YouTube breaks.

Three martini lunches.

More festive meetings:

Naps on office futon.

No pants required.

No hygiene required.

Yep, a guy could get used to this real fast.  So, while I lament the absence of the fine folks from Ivy Tech, I think I'll stick with this new gig for a while.


Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Got No Beef with Pork

I'm a picky eater.  That is not to say I don't like a lot of stuff.  Unless it's got mayonnaise in it, I'm willing to give most anything a try.  I'm not a health nut, either.  I'll defend the consumption of sugar, salt, milk, cheese and bacon until the day I have a massive coronary, and there is nothing that will convince me that an egg is anything but good for the heart and soul.  Alcohol is my beverage of choice.  Gluten?  I eat it by the bowlful.  I was a vegetarian for almost 5 years.  Been there.  Done with that.

No, when I say I'm picky, it's because I want an ingredient list to look something like this:

Compare that to the Johnsonville brand:

Pork, water, corn syrup and less than 2% of the following: salt, dextrose, spices, extract of paprika, monosodium glutamate, natural flavors, BHA, propyl gallate, citric acid.

I don't want a lot of crap in my food, and I'm not comforted by the 'less than 2%' qualifier.  Keep your propyl gallate the fuck out of my sausage.

Clearly Dr. BEEF'S got it going on, even when it comes to pork.  I can't wait to grill these up tonight with some peppers and onions.