I Forgive You, Eric Snow

I'm guilty. I've been bashing Eric Snow all season. It's easy to do if you watch him play day in and day out. He slows the offense, misses wide-open jumpshots and routinely gets beaten off the dribble by quicker guards. I still believe a better point guard would have been worth about ten extra wins this season. No disrespect of course. This guy has had a hell of a career. He was the starting point guard on an NBA finals team and is a 12-year vet. Most nights, though, it looks high time for him to make the transition to the coaching staff.

But there is one thing that Snow still does better than anyone else on the Cavs, and that is defend the post play. Did you watch last night's 87-85 game 3 victory over the Nets? Did you see Vince Carter trying to back Snow down in the Nets' final possession? He might as well have been trying to back down Mount McKinley. When Carter realised he wasn't getting any nearer the basket as the clocked ticked down, he panicked and dribbled the ball out of bounds. Game over.

So, this McBone Post is for you Eric Snow. You made the stop of the game and have put the Nets in 3-games-to-1 hole I don't think they can climb out of. That makes up for a lot of bad basketball this season.

N8's Random Notes

Don't be fooled by Mikki Moore's 25 point game, or the fact that he led the league in field-goal percentage. There's a reason nobody guards this guy, and it's not because he's a potent offensive force. With the Cavs leaning heavily on Kidd, Carter and Jefferson all game, Moore was left alone most of the time for easy dunks and wide-open jumpers. Still, it was frustrating to watch this scrub pile up points.

I'm sure I'll get burned for this later on, but it's hard to believe now that Vince Carter was ever considered Jordan's heir-apparent. Everything from game to guts to effort throughout his career has been a far cry. I hate players that give less than 100% because they don't like the team they're on (see Chris Webber). Carter should still be a Raptor.

I'd love to see Cavs make an extra pass or two on most possessions, especially down the stretch when it's been LeBron and Larry firing contested 18-23 foot jumpers late in the shot clock and usually missing.

Somebody is going to kill Anderson Varejao someday. He's the closest thing to Dennis Rodman in the league right now, driving opponents nuts.

Ben and Dick

Just two quick things that recently made me puke my guts out: Pope Benedict's visit to Brazil, and Dick Cheney's trip to Baghdad.

The Pope spent much of his trip, his first visit to the Americas, railing against Marxism and Capitalism. Fine. Whatever. Go for it.

Perhaps slightly more problematic is what he had to say about the evils of abortion and, for crying out loud, contraception. Laws that legalize these practices, he said in a nutshell, threaten the future of mankind. So our problem, in other words, is not overpopulation, but underpopulation.

Is this man out of his mind?!? Exactly how many impoverished children does he think will be too many before he changes his mind about...OK, he's not going to advocate a woman's right to choose anytime soon, or ever, but CONTRACEPTION? Jesus H. Christ, if he's playing that "we must people the earth" card, I've got news for him: it's peopled--6.5 billion and counting. And he was right there in Brazil, where there's no shortage of the things.

Maybe next time the cardinals will see fit to elect someone willing to make reforms to a hopelessly antiquated stance, someone slightly younger and with a more modern perspective, preferably someone too young to remember the industrial revolution.

Then there is Cheney, who has been doing his part in controlling the world population. I don't have much to say about the draft-dodger's surpise pop in, except the obvious. How dare this lying mass-murderer show his face to the troops? How dare he talk to them? How dare he touch them? Still waiting for that one last heart attack to rid us of this bastard.

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Yes, This is Our Brother-in-Law

As the years go by I find that I begin to take for granted that I have a brother-in-law who is known around the world for taking nude photos of thousands of people. For me it has become less about numbers and more about the installation itself and what he's doing with his (to me) three mediums: the human body, city landscapes, and a camera. From time to time, however, Spencer does something that really snaps me out of it, like when he gets 7,000 people in Barcelona to disrobe in 2003, or the 2,700 he got to pose for him in Cleveland in 2004. The beautiful thing is not the record-breaking, but that, in doing something that is unprecedented in history, so many people get to participate in a unique creative process and vision.

I was eating lunch with two of my colleagues at school the other day when one of them suddenly remembered seeing something about Spencer in the news. Something about 18,000 people in Mexico City, and did I know anything about it? No, I did not, I answered, thinking she must be wrong, that it must be 1,800. Of course I should have known better.

So, the real trick is not getting 18,000 people together. Concerts and sporting events routinely attract that many people and more. But to get 18,000 people to disrobe in public is something else. This week, I'm going to let the number amaze me.

Click here for further reading in English and in French. Also take a look at Spencer's website.

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What Do These Men Have in Common?

Don't let this happen again!

I know what you're thinking. You're pissed off, and with good reason. Believe me, It really gets my goat too that Rutherford B. Hayes won the presidency in 1874, in spite of the fact that Samuel J. Tilden won the popular vote by a whopping 250,000 votes. I'm only slightly less angry that George W. Bush won the presidency 126 years later, even though Al Gore received 543,816 more votes.

Why do these circumstances always fall in the republicans' favor?

The electoral college is a centuries-old slap in the face. It says to the American public that it is not competent to select its own president. The election of 2000 represented the 4th time that the majority of american voters was thwarted by a minority of politicians. There are now over 300,000,000 people living in the United States. Why do only 538 of them get to cast a direct vote for president? I believe the electoral college suppresses the strength of third parties and shifts a candidate's focus to winning important states rather than individual votes. I urge all McBoners out there to take a look at The National Initiative for Democracy, Senator Mike Gravel's proposal to put lawmaking power into the hands of the people. Getting rid of the electoral college is just one of the many perks that could be realized if enough people support this grass-roots initiative.

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P.S. Apologies to the 19th president for comparing him to Bush.

What the Hell, Why not Gravel?

Is anyone else sick of this shit? How have we gotten to this point? How did the U.S. become a nation run by corporations, churches and homophobic, dogmatic, warmongering politicians? Why are politicians having to scare people into voting for them? How did these neocons manage to trick people in Nebraska into being afraid of Muslims? And did last year's shift in power really constitute a real shift? Is there any difference between the two parties anymore? Let's see who the democrats are trotting out this time. Right, I get it: on the surface, they seem to be a refreshing batch. A woman, a relative upstart from the south, and that rare black man without the title "reverend" attached to his name.

Would it be cool to have a black president? Sure, if he's a good black president. I want to root for Barack Obama, is the thing. But listen to him. Doesn't he sound like just another glossy politician? Actually he sounds almost like a hypnotist after listening to George Bush struggle with subject-verb agreement for 6 years. Where does he stand? people ask. Well, read his goddam website. He stands pretty close to the center (although I salute the recent tongue lashing he gave Detroit automakers). And Hillary? Christ! She voted for the war! And can't we spend just one presidential term without a Bush or Clinton in office? John Edwards? Already seems like a retread, doesn't he? He also voted for the war. Joe Biden? Voted for the war. Chris Dodd? Voted for the war.

There is a maddening tendency for candidates who stray away from the center to be instantly labeled an eccentric or a wacko. People treat Dennis Kucinich like he's some sort of circus attraction, as if his sole purpose in politics is to amuse us. Does anyone actually pay attention to this man? To me he seems about as eccentric as a jug of milk. He supports gay marriage? WOW! Only some sort of wingnut would want these sexual deviants to have equal rights. He wants to clean up the environment? Well what kind of wack-a-doodle-do would want to breathe clean air and drink uncontaminated water and make sure the earth remains inhabitable? Then there is my new favorite: Mike Gravel. I cannot claim to have been aware of this man until a couple of months ago, when I was reviewing the list of Democratic candidates. Even then, when I read it was his goal to empower the public, I gave him little thought. No name recognition. No chance to win.

Mike Gravel has no chance to win. Is this why he is able to speak his mind? Of course. He is the bizarro candidate who truly wants to empower be influenced by the U.S. citizenry. Yes, he got a little riled at the debates a couple of weeks ago. Good! Thank god. Who wouldn't be riled? I've been riled for the past 6 years, waiting for my outrage (I sure as hell am not the only one) to be represented in our government. Show me some real outrage, because that is what is needed in times like this, when we have a mass-murderering dumbass oil baron zealot running the show. Check out the video below (I know I'm a bit tardy), and then check out Mike Gravel's website. He and Kucinich are the only candidates who stand adequately left of center for my taste.

Do you like what you read about Mike Gravel? Do you think an active lawmaking citizenry is a good idea? Think getting rid of the electoral college, in light of who won the majority vote in 2000, is a really, really good idea? Well, take a look at the website for the National Initiative for Democracy.

Voting for John Kerry in '04 felt like an act of desperation. It just seems so inevitable that it will happen again. I still wish Al Gore would enter the race. This angry message felt good to write, thank you.
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The NOML fully supports candidate Mike Gravel, but regrets that he shaved off his moustache.

Cavs in the Second Round!

I have to admit, this series frightens me. Yes, I see the obvious: a Cavs team that won 50 games and a New Jersey squad that had to scramble just to be .500 and make the playoffs. The Cavs have so many advantages over this team, including depth, post play and, of course, LeBron.

So why does this series, one that the Cavs should sweep, scare me? Well, for starters there is Jason Kidd. He is playing the best ball of his career, averaging a triple double for the playoffs so far. He has been to the finals twice and is veteran winner. Another factor is Vince Carter. I hate Vince, primarily because he couldn't be bothered to play hard for the Toronto Raptors. He is one of the most underachieving talents in recent NBA history. That aside, VC always seems to kill the Cavs. He hits impossible shots against us and seems to save his best for when the wine and gold are on the same court. Then there is Richard Jefferson. I can't decide if this guy is really good or if he just plain sucks. The Nets seem to go as Jefferson goes, so I have to hope that LeBron will continue to humiliate him like he did the last time they matched up.

My prediction: Cavs win in six. My logical mind is going to win out over my trepidations. With Nenad Krstic out, the Nets will have no answer for Z. Two of their starters are career scrubs in Mikki Moore and Jason Collins. The bench features hot-shooting Bostjan Nachbar and little else. They should be run out of the playoffs in four, but I will give them two Kidd-fueled victories.

Position by position analysis:

PG: Larry Hughes vs. Jason Kidd. Larry will have his hands full containing Jason Kidd, and vice-versa. Both are streaky shooters. Larry is the better scorer, but Kidd is the superior ball handler. Both rebound well at the guard spot. Advantage: Kidd.

SG: Sasha Pavlovic vs. Vince Carter. Obviously, this is a major challenge for Sasha, in spite of his superior size. Vince will get his points, but Sasha must be physical with him and be active on offense. Make Vince work, which he doesn't like to do, especially in the playoffs. Exploit the fact that Vince is not a champion. Advantage: Carter.

SF: LeBron James vs. Richard Jefferson. LeBron is better than Jefferson at everything. He is even way better looking. LeBron must react wisely to double, triple and quadruple teams. Advantage: LeBron.

PF: Drew Gooden vs. Mikki Moore. Moore is a journeyman, scrappy type player who has no business starting on a playoff team. Shoots for a high percentage because he only shoots when he can't miss. If Drew brings his energy, he will destroy Moore. Advantage: Drew.

C: Zydrunas Ilgauskas vs. Jason Collins. The only thing Collins does well is be tall, and he is 2 inches shorter than Z. Can't shoot or defend. Second biggest mismatch in Cav's favor. Z must exploit a player who is only out there to take up space. Advantage: Z.

Bench: Cavs bench brings shooting: Daniel Gibson, defense and hustle: Andeson Varejao, and, ugh, Eric Snow. New Jersey brings a shooter named Nachbar and that is it. Complete band of no-name scrubs. Advantage: Cavs.

Other series around the NBA:

Chicago vs. Detroit: Detroit 4-3. The Bulls rely too much on jump shooting, though
the Pistons rely on Webber, who is a playoff meltdown or injury waiting to happen.

Phoenix vs. San Antonio: Spurs 4-1. The Suns are a great regular season team. Watch those 124 - 110 victories vanish into thin air against a real team.

Utah vs. Golden State: Utah 4-2. Battle of coaching that I believe Sloan wins over Nellie. Plus the Warriors have the decided disadvantage of depending on Stephen Jackson, who somehow managed to get ejected from TWO first round games.

P.S. I have very lovely memories of the Cavs beating the Nets in the playoffs twice in the early nineties. That's when the Nets had the biggest asshole team in the NBA, featuring Derrick Coleman (taught Webber how to underachieve), Kenny Anderson and the late Drazen Petrovich. Brad Daugherty annihilated them.

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Welcome to Falling Rock National Park!

Hello friends. If you're anything like me, you love comic strips. I'm not talking about the shitty ones like Garfield, Beetle Bailey or, worst of the worst, Family Circus. No, I'm talking actual, funny comics, the ones that make you laugh. Or better yet, make you laugh and think. The Far Side, Doonesbury, Get Fuzzy, This Modern World and Calvin and Hobbes are more along the line of what I'm talking about, and so is Welcome to Falling Rock National Park.
McBone is proud to give a McBone shout-out to Josh Shalek, creator of the daily strip, Welcome to Falling Rock National Park. I first met Josh when we were both slumming at the Boulder, Colorado Barnes and Noble, and, seeing that we shared so many common interests (pirates, robots and radioactive spiders to name a few), we formed a fast friendship. It was then that he introduced me to his strip, The Family Monster. I loved it, and have been a devoted reader of his work ever since.

The Family Monster has since been retired, but with WFRNP Josh has taken his art to new heights. WFRNP takes place on a national park in the American west and revolves around the adventures of five characters: Ernesto, an abnormally large lizard who wears a baseball jersey; Carver, a grumpy, self-righteous owl; Melissa, a sometimes vicious but more often languid mountain lion; Pam, a chain-smoking, retired school teacher javelina; and Dee, the park ranger (if you are familiar with Josh's work, you know Dee quite well already).

WFRNP is philosophical, political, poignant, irreverent, absurd and always funny. It pokes fun at all things in life that take themselves too seriously. There are guest characters (one of Josh's most effective trademarks), improbable situations and wonderfully drawn characters and desert landscapes. Perhaps his greatest talent as a cartoonist, though, is that his strip is never repetitive and always pushing its own boundaries.

But enough of what I think. Check out the two strips I've posted here (just click on the image to enlarge), and then spend a while on Josh's website. I suggest visiting his archive and reading a couple of week's worth of strips. Get to know the characters and the park and afterwards you too will be wondering why, when there are artists like this out there, must we put up retreads like Hagar the Horrible, Blondie and Hi and Lois, day after day after day.

nwb

McBone Recipe of the Month: Eggs Benedict!

Holy Christ, this eggs benedict turned out great! So great that I feel compelled to share the recipe with you. For two servings you will need:

Good ciabatta bread, 4 slices. Don't skimp here. Good bread, I have learned, makes good eggs benedict. Why waste all the effort and ingredients on some crummy, soggy Thomas' English Muffin? 4 slices of Canadian bacon or nice, thick-sliced ham. 4 eggs to poach. A little butter. For the hollandaise sauce: 4 egg yolks. 1 lemon. A stick of salted butter. Salt.

Toast the ciabatta bread in butter on the stove. So much better like that. Fry Canadian bacon or ham. Bring water to a gentle boil and poach eggs. DO NOT HARDEN YOLKS, for mercy's sake, just don't. If you do, feed ruined eggs to the dog.

For the hollandaise: I have found over 2.6 billion hollandaise sauce recipes, most of them with the word "easy" attached to them, but the only way to make hollandaise is to practice over and over until you are comfortable. It's so easy to make, yet so easy to screw up. However, here is my favorite easy-ish recipe that doesn't involve cheating with a blender: bring water in double boiler to a rolling boil. Melt a stick of butter. Squeeze in juice from lemon. Beat egg yolks and add to boiler. REMOVE FROM HEAT OR EGG WILL CURDLE. Stir until it thickens. Don't stop stirring. Add a teaspoon of boiling water. You are still stirring. Add salt to taste. Delicious. Pour over waiting ciabatta, ham and eggs. Wanna garnish? Parsley and a dash of cayenne or paprika is nice. Now eat before it gets cold! Die from pleasure. You will not lose weight with this high cholesterol* dish. Best devoured with a mimosa made with equal parts champagne and freshly-squeezed orange juice.

Good luck! As always, McBone welcomes questions and comments about our recipes.

*McBone endorses the consumption of cholesterol.