The McBone Birdwatching Journal; X-Rated Edition

So I'm just sitting there on the sofa with the kiddo and wife watching the birds do their feeding thing when I spied a gray squirrel humping another gray squirrel right in the middle of the yard.  I thought, Well now that's a fine display, ladies and gentlemen.  I mean, after all there are children here.  Then, just as I was charging outside to break up the party, they went and pulled the old switcheroo on me. Suddenly, the squirrel on the receiving end started humping the humper.  I paused and found myself wondering if this was a choice, or were they born that way?  And what do various religions have to say about gay squirrels? And are there any squirrel sodomy laws on the books that I'm unaware of?

Male, female, gay, straight--whatever the case, they have this whole great big private oak tree they could be using.

Anyways:

Birds sighted

Cardinal
Chickadee
Tufted titmouse
White breasted nuthatch
Carolina wren
Junco
House sparrow--about a million
House finch
Goldfinch
Mourning dove
Downy woodpecker
Hairy woodpecker

nwb

Round One

Fall.  Some call it their favorite season.  Some go as far as to wax poetic about it.  I understand.  Hell, I'm an autumn child.  As seasons go, fall is one of the best, but I don't love everything about it.

This is the pile of leaves I raked this morning:

McGraw 1, Leaves 0

Notice that none of the leaves from the tree directly above the pile have fallen yet:

McGraw 1, Leaves 1

And here is a sizable hunk of squirrel tail found in the yard.  Not sure what squirrel dismemberment has to do with the time of year, but squirrels and fall leaves are a kindred menace.

McGraw 2, Leaves and Squirrels 1

Bring it, bitches.

nwb

The McBone Birdwatching Journal; Birds Sighted

Downy woodpecker

This weekend featured some first-rate birding, both here at McBone Manor and at Celery Bog Park.

Here's what we sighted:

Robin

Hairy woodpecker (2 pairs)

Mourning dove

House finch

Chipping sparrow

Some kind of thrush.  Hell if I could figure out which one.

Goldfinch

Downy woodpecker

Chickadee

Blue-Gray gnatcatcher

Cardinal

Blue jay

Tufted titmouse

White-breasted nuthatch

Catbird

Ruby-throated hummingbird

Red-winged blackbird

Bluebird

Cedar waxwing

Orchard oriole*

Baltimore oriole

Grackle

Starling

Kingbird

Chimney swift

Eastern phoebe

Tree swallow

Crow

*I was especially delighted to have seen an orchard oriole for the first time in my birdwatching career.  Contending with a flock of cedar waxwings for some ripe tree berries, the brick-red oriole burst through the foliage and perched on a bare branch long enough for me to realize I had no idea what it was.  Luckily, my Golden guide was on hand to help me rack up a life bird.

In other birding news, our gray squirrel population has taken to openly mocking me, evacuating the feeders only when within arm's length of their imbecilic enemy and resuming their feast as quickly as the door shuts behind me.

nwb

You Win, Squirrels

This bird hopper is, at the moment, squirrel free.  Notice however the perfect path from tree to feeder that the half dozen or so resident squirrels have trod in their relentless pursuit of a delicious sunflower, safflower and peanut blend.

I have come to recognize several of the rogues.  Here are a few who occupy my most wanted list:

No Tail - I don't know how No Tail ended up with a stump where there should be a furry, fluffy tail, but given his proclivity for plundering seed and running amok, I have a feeling it was retribution for some sinister act of squirrel malfeasance.

Mangy - Hideous and diseased, Mangy, with fur covering barely half of his face and body, sends all the little critters running, bird and chipmunk alike.  His total lack of remorse is his personal "f*!# you!" to a world that both hates and fears him.

Red - As fearless as she is unprincipled, Red, our lone red squirrel, is pint-sized, whippet quick and willing to take on all challengers in the name of looting.

I am fighting a losing battle.  These "pretty rats," as my grandfather used to call them, will win.  I wouldn't mind if the squirrels were more like birds, popping over from time to time for a quick snack, but these little flea-infested bastards climb up and plant themselves interminably on the hopper, stuffing their bellies and cheeks with the precious seed while the birds, helpless against the bigger, smarter and stronger rodents, wait.  And wait.  And wait.  Only when the loathsome little devils are satisfied, or if I have chased them away for the billionth time, do the birds get a turn.

No Tail!  Mangy!  Red!  May you find yourselves in an infernal drey when death comes to claim you.  May the acorns be hollow and the feeders of hell filled with poison and sand!

nwb