Stabbone and McGraw: Heaven

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

What If They're Right?

The exit is to the left. No, no, YOUR left.

If they're right, I imagine the conversation will go something like this:

God: Rock McGraw!

McGraw: Right here boss.

God: Well, don't just stand there all slack-jawed and slouching. And suck in that gut!

McG: My bad.

God: Are you prepared for your final judgment?

McG: Yep. What's the verdict?

God: I never knew thee.

McG: Oh, snap. That doesn't sound good.

God: Begone! I condemn thee to everlasting torment on the Lake of Fire.

McG: Ugh. Seriously?

God: Seriously.

McG: Will I get to see my sometimes-popular wife?

God: Not a chance.

McG: Will there be music?

God: Yes, there's music.

McG: Will there be baseball?

God: Yes, baseball too.

McG: And snacks???

God: Yes, yes. All the snacks you can eat.

McG: Cha-ching! What time's the bus leave?

God: Your carriage awaits you.

nwb

The Legend of Stabbone and McGraw

In 1967 the world's most powerful criminal super-genius, Stabbone, stole ten trillion dollars worth of gold boullion. Police, baffled as to the whereabouts of Stabbone's purported impenetrable underground lair, called on top investigator Rock McGraw to crack the case. Working tirelessly day after day, McGraw eventually tracked Stabbone to an abandoned latex mask factory. While McGraw radioed the boys for backup, Stabbone made his daring escape. In the chaos that ensued, both disappeared. Thirty years later, the case of Stabbone and McGraw remains a mystery, though some say that McGraw remains undercover, in relentless pursuit of his evil arch-nemesis.