Stabbone and McGraw: Georgia

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Monstrous Oversight

As my two partner bloggers and resident Musicologist recently chimed in regarding the breakup of R.E.M., I feel compelled to hold up my corner of the triumvirate. What follows is a brief history of my experience with the band:

1989 - Watched video for Stand. Outwardly dismissed it as 'weird.' Inwardly embraced it as 'awesome and weird.'

Aug. 1995 - Enrolled at Ohio University in Athens, Ohio.

Sep. 1995 - Watched video for Tongue. Capitally enjoyed melodic piano, organ and slow, sensual Stipe falsetto. Vowed to listen to roommate's copy of Monster all the way through. Too stoned to remember to follow through on vow.

Oct. 1995 - Answered 'YES!' to question 'Do you like R.E.M.?' posed by amorous co-ed. Inability to unclasp brassiere incites chaos. Dropped out of Ohio University.

Jun. 2008 - Remembering fondness for Tongue, tried downloading track to iTunes. Transaction failed due to 'insufficient funds' in bank account.

Sep. 2011 - Watched video for Stand and Tongue on YouTube.

So there you have it. I feel the final chapter of this decades-long tale has yet to be written. I respect the musical tastes of my partner bloggers without reservation, except when it comes to Shaft and his curious yen for the sounds of X-mas. I may be painfully late to the party, but better late than never. So let's do this thing. I hereby announce my official Quest for R.E.M. Fanhood, to commence immediately upon posting. I have high hopes; lots of good stuff has come out of Georgia.

nwb

The Legend of Stabbone and McGraw

In 1967 the world's most powerful criminal super-genius, Stabbone, stole ten trillion dollars worth of gold boullion. Police, baffled as to the whereabouts of Stabbone's purported impenetrable underground lair, called on top investigator Rock McGraw to crack the case. Working tirelessly day after day, McGraw eventually tracked Stabbone to an abandoned latex mask factory. While McGraw radioed the boys for backup, Stabbone made his daring escape. In the chaos that ensued, both disappeared. Thirty years later, the case of Stabbone and McGraw remains a mystery, though some say that McGraw remains undercover, in relentless pursuit of his evil arch-nemesis.