Sunday, June 5, 2011

Meet the McBonemobile II

It was with no small measure of sadness that we said goodbye last week to a faithful friend.  Though the McBonemobile was known by many names in many parts, we called her Serafina Pekkala, after the powerful witch of the His Dark Materials saga (and with a nod to the bewitching actor who translated the role to film).  Like a storm-heavy cloud Serafina patrolled the roads of West Lafayette, ready at all times to unleash her merciless form of justice.

Yes our little Honda served us well in nearly 4 years together.  She was good to us, even if we didn't always do right by her:

Serafina, meet mailbox. Mailbox, Serafina

The old gal could've gone another billion miles for sure, but with a half-baked bun in the oven, it was time to trade our two door coup for something more practical.  Behold this red-hot hunk of a 2008 Kia Rondo, the McBonemobile 2.0, aka Fawkes:

Parked at McBone HQ in Akron, OH

Named by my sometimes-pregnant wife for the incendiary phoenix of the Harry Potter septrilogy,* Fawkes offers the quadruple advantage of breakneck speed, state-of-the-art gadgetry, world-class safety and sophisticated style and comfort.  Best of all, this low-mileage used vehicle has a clean history.  The previous owner must have been a really responsible, down-to-earth person.

Like a caged eagle, the McBonemobile idles impatiently in the driveway, practically begging for the chance to dig his talons into the rodent scum of Tippecanoe County.

Though the name Kia may not call to mind some of the sexier autos of the world, this fella packs a more than a few surprises: 

-Powerful 550 hp, V-12 engine

-Room for 7 adults (or 5 Americans)

-Flux capicitor/MP3 jack

-100% Squirrelskin interior

-Taco bar

-GPS system voiced by, depending on gender or sexual orientation of driver, Zooey Deschanel or James McAvoy.

A few demerits are warranted for decreased fuel efficiency, but we will attempt to limit our carbon footprint by eliminating a few wasteful luxury items from our lives (planetarium, electric refrigerator).

Watch out, villains of Indiana; the blood-dimmed tide has been loosed on yo asses.


*I like Harry Potter.  Sue me.


Kathy T. said...

Can't wait to see the baby seat in the back! (as well as strollers, tricycles, walkers, diapers, pink or blue baseball paraphernalia, ....Yankees preferably) There will barely be room for you and your sometimes very pregnant wife, Alex.

Kid Shay said...

McBonemobile is dead. Long live McBonemobile!