Sunday, February 14, 2010

My Wife's Secret Identity Revealed!

A couple of years ago I shocked the world by revealing my identity as a blogging tennis champion.  However, I'm not the only world-class athlete who has taken up residence at McBone outpost #1211.  Since the Winter Olympics are in full swing, now would seem an appropriate time to reveal something about my wife as well.

Born in 1977, my wife, representing the former East Germany, won her first gold medal in figure skating at the Olympics in Sarajevo in 1984 at the age of eight.  Her early development into womanhood (attributed by some to Soviet bioengineering technology) did not go unnoticed by the international ice skating community, particularly among enthusiasts who fell under the demographic of 'straight male,' of which there was a sudden and exponential increase.

She would repeat her gold medal achievement in 1988 in Calgary, cementing her place among the immortals.

Known for her beauty as well as her athleticism, Time Magazine labeled her 'the most beautiful face of socialism.'  Yet, my wife, lured by the promise of western freedom, emigrated to Venezuela, where, she was dismayed to discover, there is no ice.  Ultimately satisfied with her Olympian feats, she retired from skating and turned to intellectual pursuits, finally landing in Indiana and Purdue University, where she has been hailed as 'the most beautiful face of rhetoric and composition.'

Here Katarina (known today as 'Alex') and I enjoy a quiet cocktail before hordes of fans sent us running for our limousine.



Kathy said...

Believe it or not---I am one of the few souls alive that has actually been to the one and only ice skating ring in Venezuela, on top of the Humboldt mountain that was reached by a sky gondola. There was a very hefty Venezuelan girl there, trying to do jumps, and for every attempt she would make, the audience would go wild and scream "ole". That must have been your Katarina in her early days, before she was discovered, wooed, wedded and bedded by you and had to assume an alias. P.S. David says that he was also dragged there by Katarina's father.... apparently trips there were a great source of amusement for the few.

McBone said...

To Kathy and David,

My wife Katarina Alex says that it all works out in the end, since her father always wanted to be a German, thus the forced trips to the skating rink.


Dennis B. said...

I love it when I can still see you, my dearest cousin, in the several TV shows here in Germany....they still love you.....