While the season inflicts its wintry worst upon us all, McBone is here to provide a little ray of warmth. When last year's inaugural swimsuit edition was received with wholehearted enthusiasm, we knew we were on to something big. This year we had but one goal in mind: to blow the lid off this motherfucker.I whipped out my little black book and flipped through the pages...Alt, Banks, Benitez, Brinkley, Campbell, Casta, Crawford, Diaz...all satisfactory candidates, but "E" was where I stopped. E as in Everhart, Angie.
We chose Angie Everhart (the official supermodel of McBone), over other swimsuit models knowing no Akron native, no Firestone High School graduate, no classmate of my sister (not to mention a bonafide ginger!) would ever, could ever, disappoint McBone.
Only problem was, her digits had somehow come up missing. Black book, Rolodex, cell phone, ipad...I searched high and low, to no avail. Man, if I had a dime for every time I've lost a supermodel's phone number.
Anyhow, try as I might, I just couldn't conjure that number, so I googled "Angie Everhart supermodel phone number" and wasn't that surprised to come up empty. Hell, a top-shelf talent like Angie doesn't want every Tom, Dick and Harry calling her up all the time.
A little networking was in order. What I did was, I called up another top model of Akron pedigree. The conversation went a little something like this:
HK: Hello?
Me: Heather, baby, what's shaking?
HK: Who is this?
Me: Long time no talk.
HK: Who is this, please?
Me: You're hilarious. Seriously, I'm in a real fix here, babe. I need AE's number stat. How 'bout it?
HK: Listen, dickhead, if you call this number one more time my husband's gonna come kick your ass!
Well, that got me nowhere fast. Fortunately my Webelos training had me prepared with a backup plan. I rummaged through the closet and dug out the old bathing trunks and a tube of SPF 30. Feast your eyes, McBoners. Look, but don't touch!
Nothing like a fluffy beach read to while away the hours in paradise.
That kooky kat really kracks me up!
Damn, those compact flourescent bulbs are hot, hot, hott
Ooh, I wanna take you down to Kokomo...
Photographs by
ALEX
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Swimsuit by Old Navy
($3.99)
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Spencer Tunick's former sunglasses by Oaklee
($1.35)
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Hair by Janeane at Great Clips
Makeup by Dr. Fabulous
nwb
5 comments:
Ah, the swimsuit issue. The real reason I subscribe to McBone.
Personally, I would prefer seeing Zooey D. in swim attire. You could dignify her by anointing her an "honorary" Akron native. I know she would do it for you, especially after feasting her eyes on your own special swimsuit suits. They show both your scholarly demeanor and legendary physique. You certainly must have her number ---in more ways than one!!!
KS, Just don't leave your browser open for A to see.
Kathy, Zooey is a fine actor, but you can't simply fake and Akron native. You either got it or you don't.
nwb
Angie "Kick Start My" Everhart. Did you ever hit the spot with this post McBone! I couldn't agree more with the selection... even if she's had romps with Sly and Stern. Hot hot hot like Buster Poindexter. Thanks in advance for the dreams tonight!
Best swimsuit edition ever!
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