McBone, the NOML, the NIML and the AMA congratulate me, Nate Bowler, for my 2008 Australian Open championship. In between my job as a cook and my writing, I like to play a little tennis.
I offer condolences to my vanquished finals opponent, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, and all others who lay slain on the path to victory.
The win in Australia marks my first grand slam title.
To the fools who said I had no chance I say this: you will soon be crushed in a vice-like grip of pain.
Pictured above: me hoisting my 2008 Australian Open championship trophy.