Everyone Wants a Piece of Lincoln; Parks and Rec Edition

Exhibit #54.  The City of West Lafayette, Indiana Department of Parks and Recreation wants a piece of Lincoln.

nwb

LIFE

The beauty of this blog is that we don't care.  We don't care if one other human being on the planet reads a single word.  This is a place for us to go write what we feel like saying.  Put down in words what we are feeling about any topic imaginable.  Sometimes it is mayonnaise.  Sometimes it is politics.  For me sometimes it is just about life.  Sometimes our thoughts make sense, sometimes you wonder what the hell we're talking about.  This post may lean towards the latter. 

I got smacked in the mouth today with another reminder of why I live the way I do.  Why when I wake up in the morning I make the decision to be the way I am, and to leave it all on the table every single day.  You think tomorrow is going to look like today?  NO CHANCE.  You have no idea.  How can we all not live everyday to create memories, and how can we not be driven by the memories we've already made?  I've got Aram tattooed on my arm.  I've got Cleveland tattooed on my rib cage.  I don't make decisions based on what other people think is right, I make decisions based on having nothing left to give on the day I take my last breath.

Nate, Krystl - how do we not see each other more?  I mean, seriously...What the hell.  Just make sure your beautiful children get a chance to spend as much time as possible with mom and dad.  What would you do just to get a couple more days with gram and grampa?

My family and my friends formed who I am. You guys are the reason I'm motivated to destroy everything, anything and anyone in my path. Never forget where you came from and never forget how fragile our lives are.  Live.One.Day.At.A.Time.  All out.  All the time.  No regrets.  Life is amazing, so need to constantly work to keep it that way.

jab

Safe, Legal and Rare

This week's super controversial run of Doonesbury has been pulled by many newspapers.  That's fine.  While the daily rags cower over something topical and relevant, we are happy to endorse it here.  To those of you who think the likes of Rick Perry know what's best when it comes to women's health, close this page and enjoy your daily dose of Hi and Lois.

With apologies to the great Garry Trudeau:

Bill Clinton said it best.  Abortion should be safe, legal and rare.

nwb

Momma Idiot turns 65

My mom turned 65 today.  I suppose that calls for some kind of celebrating.  This post should probably consist of examples of the amazingness that is Jean Bowler, list out all her wonderful qualities, and talk about how she is the greatest mother to ever walk the face of the Earth.

But the fact of the matter is that moms most signficant accomplishment is not her 65 years of being an above average human being.  Without question her biggest contribution to planet Earth happened 30 years ago when she gave birth to her youngest child.  A boy with an unequaled level of genius, athleticism and handsomeness that this world has never seen, and will probably never see again.

So let's take this opportunity on  my moms birthday to celebrate me. 

Happy Birthday Mom!  This guy loves you!

Oscar Fight

I didn't know what I was getting into when I casually asked the McBonerito what was up with the button.  He answered that, as if it wasn't obvious enough, he was wearing the button because he hates George Double-U Fucking Bush.

I said something about holding grudges and sour grapes and playing the 'blame Bush' game like everyone else, but he was having none of it.  Bush gets blamed, he answered, 'cause Bush fucked shit up.

I asked him if the button wasn't just a little passe, a little 2001?  He told me that he didn't wear it in 2001 because in 2001 he Wasn't. Fucking. Born.

Well, I was a bit put off by his liberal use of the f-word and I suppose I should have quit while I was ahead, but I had to know and so I asked: Well, why the octopus?

He just rolled his eyes and sighed and shook his head and acted like I was the biggest dope alive, so I dropped it.  But I still wasn't sure about the giant glass of wine he had poured himself, and I let him know about it.  Boy, did that set him off.  First he was all defensive and like, what harm in one teensy-weensy little drink?  When I pointed out that the drink wasn't so little, especially for a three-month-old, he really laid into me about how he was just trying to take the edge off, and what a drag it is living with the goddam Gestapo and how he was sure I was going to narc on him to Mom.

I gave him a cursory whatever and left him stewing in his own bile.  Later on he poured me a peace offering and told me he was just pissed cause we didn't let him stay up to watch the Oscars the night before.  He asked me if Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close won anything, because he was going to laugh his ass off if it did.

Hell no, I told him.

We clinked glasses and embraced and promised we wouldn't tell Mom a damned thing.

I love you, son.

nwb

The Good News, Part 1 of 2

Chan Marshall, our involuntary spokeswoman, is close to delivering the first Cat Power album in four years.  This report is certainly comparable to some of the best news we've ever heard.



Chan, after recording and touring with the Dirty Three, eschews a band this time around and plays all of the instruments herself.  Can't wait to hear it!  To tide us over, here is the video for the song King Rides By.  Yes, it's a reboot of her own material, but in my opinion, here is some of her best songwriting getting the vocal accompaniment it deserves.  Never has her voice sounded better.

Also, enjoy Manny Pacquiao working over a speed bag for the duration.  Sit back, relax, have a listen and be glad that's not your head getting pummeled for a good 7 minutes.

Oh, and you can download it here for a good cause!

nwb

A Sacrament Most Unholy

Newt Gingrich.  Reduce him down to his most fundamental qualities and what do you have?  Ego.  Avarice.  Rank, oozing arrogance.  A miles-long slime trail of belligerence and unbridled lust.  In a way, Newt is the embodiment of America at its worst.  Bloated.  Irresponsible.  Pompous.  Pedantic.  So ready to buy into our own awesomeness and the notion, however absurd, that our way is the right way, the only way, and, most frightening, god's way.

There is no reason this guy should be running for president.  He couldn't hack it as Speaker of the House and he certainly does not belong at the helm of a nation.  Oh, I'm sure he's talked himself into thinking he's up for the job.  I'm sure he's worked it out in that formidable brain of his that he's just the man to right the ship, to put us back on track, to guide our country back to Greatness.  I'm also sure that, deep down (or maybe not so deep down), he believes he's coming to us as a savior of sorts, condescending from his high perch to rescue a nation of slaves from the precipice of doom.  Well, I'm telling you right now that Gingrich worship not just unholy, it's downright unhealthy.  Allow me to demonstrate:



Obama 2012

nwb

No Choice Here

I heard on the radio yesterday morning that GM just turned the biggest profit in the company's history--$7.6 billion.  I'm no fan of Chevy or Buick, but GM is still a big employer and I know how critical well-paid union jobs are.  Have you seen what Walmart is offering these days?

Also, last month's employment numbers were better than projected--243,000 jobs added in January.  To think that we were losing over 700,000 jobs a month when the black guy with the scary name took office.  I have to believe that even Obama's most vitriolic and unhinged of critics would say that the economy is doing a sight better than it was in 2008.  Or do his detractors hear the good news and just shudder at the very idea of four more years?

Is he perfect?  Hell no.  But take a look at then and take a look at now and ask if our president deserves to be replaced by, of all things:

-A megalomaniacal adulterous hack politician with delusions of grandeur who was run out of Congress on a rail in the 90s.

-A guy so in touch with voters that he calls $375,000 in speaking fees in one year "not very much."

-An uber-religious, bigoted Bush devotee.

-A free markets fanatic who thinks your church is going to foot your hospital bill.

Are you out of your minds?

Obama 2012.

Obviously.

nwb