Stabbone and McGraw: All Over: Nate Bowler Wins!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

All Over: Nate Bowler Wins!

After a months-long race tainted by scandal and accusations, polls closed late Saturday night with Nate Bowler emerging victorious as the Most Handsome McBone Co-Captain.

Though calls for a recount are almost certainly forthcoming, the tally has Nate Bowler capturing 53% percent of the popular vote with a +/- margin of error of 0.00001%. Voter turnout was strong, with nearly 85 percent or registered McBoners having punched a ballot.

Long considered the underdog in spite of his widespread popularity in the McBone community, Nate Bowler jumped out to a sizeable lead in the early days of the election. With a rout all but assured, Jeff Bowler mounted an unlikely comeback that had the contestants neck and neck for weeks, until Nate Bowler pulled ahead for good in the latter stages.

The vote has received approval from the Carter Center with former president Jimmy Carter personally presiding over much of the election.

Spokesmen from both camps declined to comment for this article.

McBone Inc.

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The Legend of Stabbone and McGraw

In 1967 the world's most powerful criminal super-genius, Stabbone, stole ten trillion dollars worth of gold boullion. Police, baffled as to the whereabouts of Stabbone's purported impenetrable underground lair, called on top investigator Rock McGraw to crack the case. Working tirelessly day after day, McGraw eventually tracked Stabbone to an abandoned latex mask factory. While McGraw radioed the boys for backup, Stabbone made his daring escape. In the chaos that ensued, both disappeared. Thirty years later, the case of Stabbone and McGraw remains a mystery, though some say that McGraw remains undercover, in relentless pursuit of his evil arch-nemesis.