Saturday, June 18, 2011

Serial Hedge Trimmer Strikes West Lafayette Lawn

Today, as my sometimes-pregnant wife and I were outdoors reading on a glorious 75-degree Saturday afternoon, an old man came striding along the sidewalk with a pair of hedge clippers.  Following a long, icy glare in our direction, he went on the offensive, snipping away any plant life that had dared encroach from our yard into public space.  Clearly this codger saw it as is duty to keep the walkways of West Lafayette free of impediments.  He wasn't messing around, either.  Snip first, ask questions later--that was his style.  After a furious few seconds of pruning, he was gone in a trail of dust.

I wasn't sure how to react.  Should I have upbraided the old vulture and run him off?  It's true that I'm not the best about maintaining the verge, but I can't help thinking this slightly deranged ancient was overstepping his rights as a fellow citizen and neighbor.  I'll be honest, though; potential senility in combination with sharp garden implements gives me pause.  I didn't want to get too close lest I have a new haircut inflicted on me.  Also, I was drinking beer, and therefore mellow.

The wife and I laughed it off.  Was I right to play the amused spectator?  Should I be more protective of the verdure in the future?  As always, I defer to your wisdom, McBoners.



Kid Shay said...

I say, let his internalized rage work for you. Maybe you can somehow get him to clean the inside of your house as well.

McBone said...

Great idea! The only hitch is the lousy job he did.


Cait said...

What did he look like? I might have intel.

McBone said...

Ahh, I love it when my network is working...he was short, thin, slightly hunched, walking briskly in short and t-shirt, and the look in his eye would curdle the blood of Satan's Europe, btw?


Haley Poulos said...

My neighbor has built a fence out of chairs to designate her patio space from mine. I say we start a psychoNeighbor blog.

Darin said...

Maybe my old high school math teacher moved to West Lafayette. Mr. Lee used to dig a little trench on the inside of his corner sidewalk that was just wide enough for a bike's tire. When the kids in his neightborhood cut the corner on his lawn, their tire would get stuck in the ditch and the would fall on his lawn. Mr. Lee would sit on his porch drinking root beer and laughing. It sounds like he has moved and is taking on new responsibilities in the public-private space battle.