Sunday, June 12, 2011

Eye of Newt

Callista zeroes in on a doomed photographer.
With her unnatural coif of molded plastic and a glare capable of liquefying the insides of political foes, I must confess that, as terrifying as the words 'Gingrich Administration' sound, I'm far more terrified of Newt Gingrich's maniacal third wife, Callista.

Until now, I would have said that the wholesale evacuation of Candidate Gingrich's campaign staff was due to irreconcilable differences, or his dubious electability, or his seeming reluctance to hit the campaign trail in earnest, or the fact that his political life keeled over and died 15 years ago.

But after catching a glimpse of the prodigal son's witch-queen and the lunatic grin on her blood-smeared craw, I began to have some doubts. While my political philosophy may be at odds with that of Newt's team, I never for a second wished the staffers any actual physical harm.  I fear their rumored disgruntlement may have cost them dearly.

To anyone wanting to solve the case of their mysterious disappearance, I suggest you take a close look at Callista's leavings.


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