Don't hide the kids, McBoners. What you're looking at is no hideous, eyeless, gape-mouthed demon from the sulfur wastes of hell. On the contrary, my sometimes-pregnant wife had her first ultrasound today. After squeezing a copious blob of warm goop on the distended belly, our genial technician (sitting in what looked to me like a space shuttle cockpit) began the fateful probe with her magic wand. Nervously we watched as a silvery image of our child appeared on the screen.
The ensuing exchange went something like this:
Ultrasound Technician: So what do you guys think it is?
Us: (In unison) Girl.
Tech: (After making a game show buzzer sound) WRONG!!!
Wrong indeed. From the deepest, darkest, happiest depths come these images of our son, William Miguel:
By all accounts, WM is healthy, active and absolutely, unequivocally a boy (junk not pictured):
For those of you not satisfied with mere photographic documentation of the McBonerito, enjoy some video footage of the squirmy little rascal. Look close and you can see his little heart chugging away:
There is no describing what one feels upon seeing a child for the first time, so I won't bother with any grandiose or florid narrative. I'm not trying to make you barf, after all.
Suffice it to say you cry.