Wednesday, March 9, 2011

What If They're Right?

The exit is to the left.  No, no, YOUR left.
If they're right, I imagine the conversation will go something like this:

God: Rock McGraw!

McGraw: Right here boss.

God: Well, don't just stand there all slack-jawed and slouching. And suck in that gut!

McG: My bad.

God: Are you prepared for your final judgment?

McG: Yep. What's the verdict?

God: I never knew thee.

McG: Oh, snap.  That doesn't sound good.

God: Begone! I condemn thee to everlasting torment on the Lake of Fire.

McG: Ugh. Seriously? 

God: Seriously.

McG: Will I get to see my sometimes-popular wife?

God: Not a chance.

McG: Will there be music?

God: Yes, there's music.

McG: Will there be baseball?

God: Yes, baseball too.

McG: And snacks???

God: Yes, yes. All the snacks you can eat.

McG: Cha-ching! What time's the bus leave?

God: Your carriage awaits you.



Kathy T. said...

I have a very strong and personal connection to God and I have been informed by Him that if thou were to assist in cleaning up gubernatorial politics in thy native state of Ohio, thy present residence of Indiana, plus treating thy neighbor Wisconsiite as thyself, then thee too will be able to enter the kingdom of Heaven! Thy sometimes popular wife will most certainly escort thee there. All of these monumental tasks must be accomplished before the visit of arrrocito -after all there will be no refuge in Venezuela with Chavez inviiting Khadafy to take up residency in your sometimes popular wife's hometown!!!Despatch with haste!!

Kid Shay said...

The scarier question is, what if the Scientologists are right?