As many of you know, for the past year I have been assisting a Purdue University professor write a textbook to complement his wine appreciation lecture series. Charged with producing some 250 pages of informative prose, I shuttered myself from the outside world in the name of viticulture, enology and humankind's 8000 year history of vinifying grape juice into wine.
Ostensibly, this must sound like a pretty good deal. Think again, McBoners. Most of you are probably unaware that month after month I was subjected to any manner of unfair labor practices, including being locked for hours in the dank and oppressive bowels of Purdue's food science building, where I was, among other unspeakable cruelties, forced to partake in the following spirituous and hard to pronounce beverages:
1989 Château de Clairefont, Margaux, Bordeaux
1986 Cain Five, Napa Valley
1983 Bouchard Père & Fils, Vosne Romanée, Côte d'Or
1983 Tignanello, Vino da Tavola, Mercatale di Pesa*
1989 Rudolf Müller Riesling Beerenauslese, Mosel-Saar-Ruwer
1990 Ruffino Chianti Classico Riserva
2001 Veramonte Cabernet Sauvignon, Maipo Valley
At last my Bacchanalian nightmare is at an end. The book, simply entitled Wine Appreciation, is due out this fall. No, do not pity me, McBoners! Shed not a tear. I endured these rare and precious wines from around the world so that you would not have to.