Thursday, January 28, 2010

2010 State of the McBoniverse

Gentle McBoners,

As McBone enters its fourth year and nears its 500th post, all would appear well in the McBoniverse.  In summary, readership in Bahrain is up 100% from a year ago, the Cavs are winning and, according to McBone intelligence data, no vendettas appear to be in the works from our nemesis blogger.  We're also happy to report that the awesomeness surrounding us is currently at an all-time high.

Yes, the temptation is to stamp ourselves squarely on the noggin with the McBone Seal of Approval and call it a night.  Few would blame us if we did.

Alas, we at McBone strive for Truth (or some McBonified version thereof), and thus our address to you cannot be so blindly full of cheer.  Allow us to remove for a moment those rose-tinted glasses.  We ask you to gaze, for a moment only, into the heart of darkness.

For in our fridge there lurks an evil...

Can't see it yet?  Look closer...
Yes, yes, closer still...
Whoa!  Close enough!  Don't look directly at it!

As the internet's leading anti-mayonnaise blog, we understand what a betrayal this must seem.  We vow to do better.  Negotiations with Alex to excise this deadly blight are ongoing.  Progress has been made, but there remains a lot of work to be done.
McBone also pledges most ardently in 2010 to back any reform that seeks to:
-Install a single payer health care system.
-Legalize gay marriage, even in Kansas
-Replace dirty and arcane energy technology with a multitude of green sources--wind, hydro, solar, biomass, etc.
-Bring those degenerates at Calder's Gourmet to justice.
-Reverse the Supreme Court's recent and most abhorrent ruling.
But McBone can't do it alone, dear friends.  We desperately need your help, and so we ask you to forgive us our emulsified transgressions and join McBone in the name of Right.
Who's with us?
Onward!

Upward!

Ho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nwb

5 comments:

Darin said...

I support McBone and all of your supported causes. And, obviously, that "real" mayonnaise must go.

I am intrigued by the fact that your fridge is essentially filled with beverages and condiments. By the looks of that fridge, you tend to eat tortillas filled with mayo, sour cream, ketsup and mustard and washed down with a class of milk or OJ.

Kid Shay said...

clapclapclapclap

clapclapclap

clapclapwhistlehootclap

McBone said...

Darin,

I'm not sure the current state of our fridge is an accurate reflection of our eating habits. Although I do like me some tortillas, they are usually filled with beans.

nwb

just Kathy said...

Master McBone, The cows will jump over the moon and you will eat mayonnaise with great gusto before the Supreme Court will reverse its disastrous decision, gasoline become less in demand, and our citizens get health care....... I don't care about Calder's Gourmet...

McBone said...

Kathy,

That's the spirit!

nwb