|573 home runs, 0 congressional hearings|
Oh, Macho Man. Your feud with Ricky the Dragon Steamboat is the stuff of legend. When you smashed the Dragon's throat with the bell, I hated you. When you gloated about it, I hated you more. Luckily, Bruno Sanmartino was there to administer the lesson I so badly wanted to teach you, you piece of slime.
And now that you're gone, I miss you. I miss recreating your bouts with my brother on Saturday mornings. I miss your complicated relationship with Hogan. I miss your dyed beard and leathery, orange skin. Nothing about you was real, but you were in your way so genuine--somehow much more a Killebrew than a McGwire.
Peace, fellas. May the Cosmos speed you to whatever place is reserved for the true Hall of Famers.