Stabbone and McGraw: Ooooh Yeaaah!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Ooooh Yeaaah!

This week we say goodbye to two of the greats: Harmon Killebrew, who was Mark McGwire before MLB started taking notes from the WWF:

573 home runs, 0 congressional hearings

and WWF legend Randy Macho Man Savage, who, like Mark McGwire, pumped his body full of any number of artificial, performance-enhancing substances:

Oh, Macho Man. Your feud with Ricky the Dragon Steamboat is the stuff of legend. When you smashed the Dragon's throat with the bell, I hated you. When you gloated about it, I hated you more. Luckily, Bruno Sanmartino was there to administer the lesson I so badly wanted to teach you, you piece of slime.

And now that you're gone, I miss you. I miss recreating your bouts with my brother on Saturday mornings. I miss your complicated relationship with Hogan. I miss your dyed beard and leathery, orange skin. Nothing about you was real, but you were in your way so genuine--somehow much more a Killebrew than a McGwire.

Peace, fellas. May the Cosmos speed you to whatever place is reserved for the true Hall of Famers.

nwb

2 comments:

C.J. said...: I didn't know Harmon, like I did Savage. One was a little more outgoing than the other. I spent many hours perfecting Macho Man's trademarked "Ohhhhhhh Yeeeaaaaahhhh, Diggit?!" and his wrestling moves, including flying turnbuckle leaps from the arm of our living room couch and a pile driver on a concrete floor that I'm pretty sure my brother's still feeling. (They got up from them tv, so did he in real life, diggit?!) Little did I know that he and his brother, "Leaping Lenny" Poffo grew up in Chicago... No wonder I felt the connection. Well, I'm guessing that having the late Miss Elizabeth as a manager didn't hurt, either. May the only royal couple that I recognize be joined in death as they were in the glory days of the WWF (now the WWE thanks to lack of feeling from the World Wildlife Foundation). RIP Macho Man and Elizabeth... "Ooooooohhhhh Yeaaaaahhhhh!"

Mr. Killebrew, you seemed like an amazing man and a fantastic spokesman for MLB. If you played in the Cubs division, sir, with all due respect, I would honor you but still be glad that you were no longer able to stand between my Cubbies and a World Series... but I guess that's the difference between a Cubs and an Indian fan. We have a love a devotion to our team that no one but us understands. RIP, old timer.; May 21, 2011 at 5:43 AM
cait said...: I demand a rapture post.; May 21, 2011 at 10:24 AM

Post a Comment

The Legend of Stabbone and McGraw

In 1967 the world's most powerful criminal super-genius, Stabbone, stole ten trillion dollars worth of gold boullion. Police, baffled as to the whereabouts of Stabbone's purported impenetrable underground lair, called on top investigator Rock McGraw to crack the case. Working tirelessly day after day, McGraw eventually tracked Stabbone to an abandoned latex mask factory. While McGraw radioed the boys for backup, Stabbone made his daring escape. In the chaos that ensued, both disappeared. Thirty years later, the case of Stabbone and McGraw remains a mystery, though some say that McGraw remains undercover, in relentless pursuit of his evil arch-nemesis.