Stabbone and McGraw: Million Dollar B-Day Bash

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Million Dollar B-Day Bash

Clipping from my first Dylan concert, 1992

In honor of the former Robert Zimmerman's 70th birthday, Rolling Stone published yet another of its moronic lists: 'The 70 Greatest Dylan Songs.' Compiled by an expert panel of 13 white men, the list consists of short blurbs treating mostly, from what I can tell, of what the songs mean personally to Bono. The decreasingly cool magazine's dedication to ranking things has had me cringing for years. Rock 'n' Roll was never meant to be labeled and ordered and categorized. The issue does, however, make one good point: Bob Dylan is 70 (yesterday), and we should be celebrating that milestone.

I'm exactly half Dylan's age, and I consider it a great stroke of fortune that several decades of my life will have overlapped with his. I've seen him in concert nine times--more than a few of those with McBone's official musicologist, Darin. As long as Bob doesn't tire of re-imagining his songs, I'll never get tired of hearing them.

And that's really the point, isn't it? More than trying to figure out why Masters of War is the 26th greatest Dylan song, or wondering why the hell Man Gave Names to All the Animals is nowhere to be found on the list? Bob never had much use for that kind of crap, and so I'll avoid lazy journalism and instead devote my time to doing what my sometimes-pregnant wife has been doing all week: listening to the songs.

I'm gonna start with Rolling Stone's 63rd favorite, which just happens to be my no. 1.

I love you, Bob. Thanks for everything.

nwb

3 comments:

Kid Shay said...: Here's to you, Bob, and the 70 songs of yours that Rolling Stone likes.; May 26, 2011 at 11:22 AM
Mark said...: That concert ad is actually from 1991. :); May 25, 2012 at 6:51 PM
BillBow Baggins said...: Thanks for reading, Mark, and thanks for the correction. We strive for accuracy here at S&McG.

nwb; May 28, 2012 at 9:14 AM

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The Legend of Stabbone and McGraw

In 1967 the world's most powerful criminal super-genius, Stabbone, stole ten trillion dollars worth of gold boullion. Police, baffled as to the whereabouts of Stabbone's purported impenetrable underground lair, called on top investigator Rock McGraw to crack the case. Working tirelessly day after day, McGraw eventually tracked Stabbone to an abandoned latex mask factory. While McGraw radioed the boys for backup, Stabbone made his daring escape. In the chaos that ensued, both disappeared. Thirty years later, the case of Stabbone and McGraw remains a mystery, though some say that McGraw remains undercover, in relentless pursuit of his evil arch-nemesis.