Saturday, May 21, 2011

You Call THIS the Rapture?

Isn't it supposed to be locusts?
So today's supposed to be some sort of special day, huh?  Well, if this is what the final judgment is all about, I'll tell you where you can shove it.  Let's do a quick recap of events thus far:

7:45 AM - Wake up for half day of work on Saturday.

8:13 - Curdled milk plops into coffee.

9:01 - Arrive at work.  Learn I was not mistaken about having to work on Saturday.

9:02 - Denounced as 'sluggard' and 'layabout' by assistant manager for tardiness.

10:13 - Scoop handful of trail mix from bag in office.  Discover fingernail among assorted fruits and nuts.

1:00 PM - Leave work just as heavens open.  Four Horsemen arrive in the form of 14 inches of rain.

1:30 - 3:50 - Shopping.

3:50 - 4:27 - Caught behind old woman with coupons.

4:43 - Arrive home.  Bills waiting in mailbox: 6.

4:45 - Rain abates enough for sometimes-pregnant wife to insist on taking a walk through humid, mosquito-infested woods.

5:07 - Sustain 50th mosquito bite.

5:27 - Last patch of unbitten skin bitten.

5:29 - Contract West Nile virus.

6:14 - Conclude walk. Birds sighted: 0.

6:15 - Beers waiting in fridge: 0.

6:20 - 7:31 - Prepare and eat burrito dinner.  Discover Band-Aid among refried beans and salsa.

7:32 - present - Blog about rapturous day.



Slider K. Shaftacular said...

Sure sign of rapture: spontaneous crack in Shay's Garfield mug.

Cait said...

Thank you :)

McBone said...

Shaft, That would be cataclysmic, catastrophic and apocalyptic all at once.

Cait, Anytime.