A package was delivered to me at work this past week. It contained a giant tub of 'extra heavy' mayonnaise decked out with pictures of Michael Bolton. Also included was a box of bendy straws. This was clearly a message from our mayonnist ememies, who are coming at us with a full arsenal of all the world's worst stuff.
Let this be my answer: I will not be intimidated and I will not back down. I enjoy a bendy straw as much as the next guy, but I certainly will not drink from your jug--piping hot off the FedEx truck--of disgusting white sludge.
We categorically reject your preferred condiment and musician.