Wednesday, May 4, 2011

To Do List

Ok, he's dead, shot and dumped like a bucket of chum into the sea.  Now that the chest beating and chants of U-S-A! are out of the way, let's take a calm look back for a minute.  That ten-year manhunt sure took a toll, didn't it?  You wonder just how long we, and the world, can go on like this.  Doesn't it seem that, countless lives and a trillion dollars later, it might be time to reevaluate things going forward?

After a intense 48-hour session fueled by coffee, cigarettes and a mountain of cocaine, here's the twelve-point agenda drummed up by the think tank division of McBone, Inc:

-End wars

-Bring troops home

-Dismantle empire

-Cut military budget in half

-Repair infrastructure

-End Bush tax cuts

-Raise capital gains taxes

-Rebuild cities

-Shrink income gap

-Grow green energy sector

-Educate kids

-Care for sick and elderly

We know a lot of people won't go for any plan that attempts to remove violence from the equation, and we are very much aware how cool folks are with 1% of the population commanding a quarter of the wealth, but we're going ahead with the scheme we believe will transform us from big, fat, bullying deathmongers into a healthy, industrious, compassionate and, yes, civilized state.

Playtime is over, America.  Time to grow up.


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