With only three days left to vote, the heavily favored bacon and sausage patties have surged to the lead, leaving behind dark horses steak, ham, and an apparently inferior form of sausage, links. Bringing up the rear are pork chops, catfish, and, in a surprisingly poor performance from our neighbor to the north, Canadian bacon.
Who will emerge the winner in the great breakfast meat debate? Will bacon sizzle and spatter its way into the lead? Do patties have enough spice to get them to the finish line? Only time, and the McBoners, can tell.
Drawing from a vast, international pool of voters, this poll is by all means definitive, absolute and incontrovertible.