Monday, February 7, 2011

The Gipper at 100

Stay dead, please
Yesterday Ronald Reagan's moldering corpse celebrated its 100th birthday.  McBone would like to commemorate one of our deadest presidents by highlighting some of 40's most notable achievements as chief executive.  Noam Chomsky has expressed strong doubts that Reagan had any real idea of what was happening during his tenure, but McBone isn't letting him off the hook so easily.

So we'll just go ahead and thank you, RR, for:

Being a pioneer in deficit spending.

Cutting taxes irrationally...

...and then raising taxes to cover your ass.

Swelling the national debt from 900 billion to three trillion.

Funneling American wealth to the rich.

Overseeing a decrease in real wages.

Precipitating the decline of the middle and working classes.

Deregulating the mayonnaise industry.

Bloating the military budget.

Coining the phrase 'welfare queens'.

Demonizing people who need help.

Ignoring AIDS.

Hating the poor in general.

Hating the environment.

Infecting the political mainstream with religion.

Laying waste to Central America, Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, etc, etc...

For eight years Reagan eased our worries with a voice that was soft and peanut buttery smooth.  While he was busy charming our pants off, the world most of us live in was eroding.  More than two decades later, he has become the patron saint of the Republican party.  How does this happen?  You'd think the diseased Reagan mantle would be something conservatives would want to shed, quarantine and study so that the future would not see his mistakes repeated.  Or maybe they should have just burned it and started over.  After all, his administration was the embodiment of just about everything they profess to hate.

Happy fucking birthday.



Slider K. Shaftacular said...

Ronald Reagan wasn't all bad. He was the basis for Alex P. Keaton's existence. And that has to count for something.

Kid Shay said...

Don't forget his still-unworkable plan for a satellite guided anti-missile defense system. Long after even the military gave up on it, Reg was dumping money into a fairy tale.

McBone said...

You got me there, Shaft. He also gave us ketchup the vegetable. How awesome is that?

Yeah, Star Wars. There are a billion things he did that should make conservatives shudder. I guess they must be desperate for a hero. Obviously it can't be Nixon. Ford? One termer. Bush Sr? Same deal. Jr? Even they know what a cluster his 8 years were.