Thursday, August 19, 2010

Damn Right, I've Got the Blues

There was a time when all Rita Hayworth needed to do was bare her arms to get men snorting and slobbering like the great, greasy pigs that we are.  Modern cinema queens are no less beautiful, and yet it seems their power over the opposite sex has faded to a significant degree.  Overexposure, you say?  While it's true that you can barely get through a day without seeing an naked breast, I don't think that's quite the reason.  No, I believe the traditional beauties are being quickly, unceremoniously and irrevocably displaced.  For my money the sexiest screen sirens of today aren't white, black or any of the mundane shades to be found here on planet Earth.  Take a stroll through our gallery and I think you'll agree: blue makes short work of Penelope Cruz, Zooey Deschanel, Halle Berry and all the other trolls being passed off as starlets.


 Neytiri
At a mere 6 feet tall, your average supermodel is not only ass-ugly by comparison, but roughly half the size of this leggy blue Na'vi goddess.  Her proficiency with a bow and arrow only doubles her appeal.


 The Diva
Though there appears to be rather more tentacles coming from her gourd-shaped dome than I generally care for, the Diva's singing voice and celestial skin make her among the most bewitching of blue beauties.


 Aayla Secura
When brandishing a light saber, this sexiest of blue warriors is both mystical and deadly.  Sadly, her commitment to the Jedi Order has taken her completely off the market.


 Mystique
Ok, she's technically an Earthling, but these genes have mutated to scaly blue perfection.  Mystique can assume any form she chooses, but why the hell would she want to?


 Ramona Flowers

Perhaps I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel now, but Ramona qualifies by virtue of her blue hair and the mastery with which she wields her abnormally large (blue!) hammer.  That she ultimately trades blue for green is food for another, later post:



nwb

3 comments:

Slider K. Shaftacular said...

You didn't even mention Smurfette! Why are you so racist?!!!

McBone said...

Not racist, just not that into blondes.

nwb

Kid Shay said...

Picasso had a blue period, too. You're in good company.