Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Heaven Help Me, I'm out of Gin!

I don't know how I could have let this happen, but I am completely out of gin.  I don't mean that the bottle is getting dangerously low; what I mean is, I don't have a single solitary drop left in the house.  This may seem a trifle to you, but understand, dear readers, that my blogging strength flows from gin.  Without it, there are no martinis.  Without martinis, I'm powerless, reduced to a trembling, craven wretch.  Already my senses begin to fail me.  By this time tomorrow, I may be dead.  Alas, my eyes are veiled by a grim, misty shadow.  A spectral laugh curdles my blood.  My dear, dead cat Mephistopheles awaits at the mouth of an endless tunnel, her little paw beckoning me towards who knows what end.  Good god, why did I have to give her that infernal name?

Vodka, you say?  Sure, I could drink vodka.  While I'm at it, should I try breathing mayonnaise instead of air?

This could well be my last post.

Farewell, gentle McBoners.



StevenLink said...

If you need, there is Bombay Sapphire at my house -- does that meet with your high standards? There is also tonic water . . .

McBone said...

High standards? Do you see that plastic bottle of Gordon's in my hand?
I think Sapphire will do.


Kathy T. said...

Gin is made from juniper berries, which is a common bush. Get thee to a garden and a fully laden juniper bush. The technique works. I have often observed birds fly cock-eyed after consuming the berries.

By the way, James Bond would never let this happen.

Kid Shay said...

Do not go gentle into that good night!