When my beloved sister told me on Facebook the other day how delicious she thought homemade mayonnaise was, and when she said how much she loved making her own mayonnaise and serving it to her husband and children, and when my sister told me that she could barely palate a sandwich anymore without the 'rich and creamy taste of yummy homemade mayonnaise,' I knew at that moment how Michael Corleone must have felt when he discovered that he had been betrayed by his brother Fredo:That betrayal led to an assassination attempt. This one hurt just as bad. While I have no intention of kissing my sister on the lips or exacting a punishment like the one Michael designed for Fredo, I would like to tell her, if she's out there reading, that she broke my heart.
Do you hear me, sister? You broke my heart! You broke my heart!!!
nwb
7 comments:
If you do feel the need to extract revenge - justifiable revenge for the passionate betrayal via mayonnaise - just remember that even Michael Corleone waiting until after their mom died before Fredo ended up "drowning." And the entire third part was about how Michael eventually had to deal with the guilt.
Darin,
How right you are. My mom is alive and good health, luckily for my sister. If anything, I'll forgo the revenge if it means avoiding a disappointing sequel.
nwb
"Johnny Ola told me how to make my own mayonnaise. He gave me the recipe. Old Man Roth would never try it, but Old Man Johnny knows these recipes like the back of his hand."
I hope my sister is saying her Hail Marys. She was always jealous that I was made the head of the family blog.
Old Man Roth would never try it? You know what Roth is eating when Michael comes to visit him at his home? A tuna fish sandwich! Hence he sleeps with the tuna fishes now.
nwb
Krissy,
I would like the recipe to your homemade mayonnaise. It sounds delicious.
MPF
Maybe your sister will come to her senses and apologize, ala Connie, in a real heartfelt (but slightly manipulative) manner.
Mike,
Fuck you, mayonnaise offender supreme. Cripes, I owe you a call!
Darin,
Just as long as she doesn't try to marry some douchebag named Merle and ask me for money, I would be ok with that.
nwb
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