You know what? Screw it. I'm having second thoughts about this baseball thing. The Tribe has its formula, which is to trade high priced veterans for promising minor leaguers, mix in a few wily veterans and build up a strong bullpen. It almost worked in 2007, but most of the time it's been a total flop. So I take back my last post about what the lineup should be next year. Let's scrap the whole thing and bring in a bunch of ringers to do the job. The best thing is, this group could be had at a fraction of the price.
1) CF Barney Fife
2) SS Mr. Sniffles
Nixon dog is a savage competitor who will not hesitate to maul opposing players who dare to round second base.
3) LF Long John Silver
4) 3B Pam the Javelina
Babe of the Month will keep the team grounded in soul-crushing reality.
5) DH Keith Richards
6) C The Boy in the Plastic Bubble - Though limited to a tiny plastic cocoon and highly susceptible to germs, the Boy in the Plastic Bubble is a brave and heartbreaking backstop. Yes, I know I am going to hell.
7) RF Johnny Dickshot
8) 1B The Sheffield Lake Girl
vice presidential nominee is a Cleveland native who has captured the imagination of a city. Her long legs and short shorts will no doubt draw legions of slobbering men through the turnstiles
9) 2B Sacagawea
endless liberal whining that each summer tries to darken the skies over Jacob's Field.
The most versatile player on the team, Man-E-Faces can change from man to robot to monster quicker than you can say Jack(ie) Robinson. He's also nifty with a glove, bat and photon blaster.