Sunday, July 1, 2007

McBonegate

Let's face it, McBone co-Captains Jeff Bowler and Nate Bowler are handsome. I don't mean just handsome. I mean really, really handsome. The only question is: who is handsomer? We put the question to you, McBoners, and you have responded. At the time of this posting, Nate Bowler had a firm grasp on the lead. Results indicate that he is handsomer than Jeff Bowler by a tally of 43-36.

Or is he?

It would be nice to say the answer was cut and dry. We here at McBone headquarters strive for transparency and would love nothing more than to give you a clear-cut answer.

But something is amiss.

In today's day and age, no vote seems to be untainted. Even when Al Gore won in 2000, he somehow lost. Every week Venezuelan presidente Hugo Chavez is re-elected by an overwhelming margin, yet invariably his opponents contest the result. Sadly, fraud is rampant, even in elections that really matter, like the one in question today.

The handsome poll began honestly enough, with Nate Bowler jumping out to a commanding 24-13 lead. With that, things leveled out for a time, with Nate Bowler maintaining a consistent 9-11 vote advantage. The trend continued for approximately two weeks and, with no foreseeable change in this pattern, McBone Inc. was on the verge of closing the polls.

That's when things went haywire.

Jeff Bowler immediately rallied with no less than 14 consective votes. Nate Bowler could only stand by and watch as his once comfortable lead vanished before his very eyes. Two days later he found himself less handsome than his brother by three votes. By then the bleeding had stopped, but, alas, too late.

After a weeks-long back and forth that saw half a dozen lead changes, Nate Bowler is back on top by seven votes. This time Jeff Bowler's camp is crying foul, while those on the opposing side say things are simply back to the way they are supposed to be.

Though neither camp could be reached for comment, Nate Bowler has released an official statement: In light of the highly irregular vote fluctation and our own independent research we can only conclude that tampering has played a role in this critical vote. Regrettably, authorities have been slow to react and we fear that whatever trail might have been sniffed out is now long cold. We are currently dicussing the matter with our team of lawyers to determine whether or not legal action would be prudent at this time.

McBone faces some tough choices in the near future: whether to declare the vote null and void or to call Nate Bowler the outright winner. Of course there is always the possibility that Jeff Bowler will mount another improbable comeback that sends the McBone community reeling yet again.

McBone Inc.

3 comments:

Bela & Mama said...

I vote for Nate!

Nate and Jeff Bowler, Co-Captains said...

Damn right.

Nate and Jeff Bowler, Co-Captains said...

All of you that vote for Nate vote simply b/c of a strong bias for the elder brother, and not for the truth that is, Jeff Bowler, being the obviously more handsome individual.