I'm Voting for Mike Gravel

No fog. No bullshit.

I don't agree with all that Mike Gravel says. He has my vote. I believe that our country has to make a massive shift to the left, and the two candidates would provide that are Gravel and Kucinich. Listen to Gravel's interview, free entirely of equivocation.



Now, listen to Obama, especially on the question of taking money from lobbyists. Listen to how he dances around the issue and in essence says nothing, trying to obfusscate for as long as he can:



He is asked a simple question. His reply is a vague "no." The real answer is obvious: yes, he takes money from lobbyists.

I will throw up if I have to vote for Clinton, Obama or Edwards. Listen to them speak. They're the hypnotists, passing off empty rhetoric as eloquence.

nwb

Ahoy, Me Hearties!

Arr! Fifteen stout men fer me crew, and a breath o' wind in me sails! Avast, ye scurvy dogs! Break out th' rum, or it's yer guts we'll be usin' to swab the decks! 'Tis I, Soloman Dunn, captain of the Crimson Sun! Surrender, else to Davey Jones' locker I'll send ye! Thar be gold and riches to be had, adventure, and many a fine, bonny lass. Mutiny! I'll have yer liver fer me breakfast, and a pint of hot blood in me cup! Fifteen paces past the coconut tree, and X marks the spot!

If ye be likin' pirates as much as me, and have had a proper schoolin', then get ye this here bit o' readin': Dancing with Jack Ketch.

sd

On the Eve of My Execution...

Capital punishment--it's a sticky issue that has no good solution. Yet, regardless of one's position on the matter, I think it's safe to say that we all share a curious and rather morbid fascination with a prisoner's last meal. Now, just why is that? I suppose it's because it gives us a means to put ourselves into the most favorable moment of this rather unenviable position. We don't like to envision ourselves strapped to the chair, but we can perhaps see ourselves accepting this one last concession to the doomed.

So, what would my last meal be? On the eve of my execution, barring any restrictions, here is my menu:

For starters:

A Beefeater martini on the rocks with a twist and three olives (I'm sipping one as I write).
A dozen and a half oysters on the half shell, served ice cold with lemon and cocktail sauce.
A bowl of my grandmother's leek and watercress soup.

Main course:

Roast beef and Yorkshire pudding with gravy.
Edelweiss hefeweizen (not the perfect marriage of drink and food, but then it's my last meal, not yours).
Asparagus with Hollandaise sauce.

I'm still hungry:

An assortment of French cheeses, specifically: roquefort, brie, morbier and chevre, all served at room temperature.
A nice crusty baguette.
A robust bottle of Haut-Médoc.

Dessert:

B&B.
Warm homemade blueberry pie and a scoop of Breyer's vanilla ice cream.
Coffee. Good coffee. Not shitty coffee, like Starbucks. The last thing I drink on earth better not be shitty, undrinkable Starbucks coffee (honestly, why do people think it's good?).

McBone wants to know: if faced with the gas chamber, the gallows or the hangman's noose, what would you want to eat? Feel free to comment in as much detail as you please.

Bon appétit!

nwb

Nate's Friday Sports Extravaganza!

Wow, what a week!

Browns

I had the priviledge of attending Sunday's game against the Steelers. I can say without reservation that it was the single worst performance by any professional sports team that I have ever seen. I have seen ugly baseball games. I have seen ugly basketball games. Considering that a single game in football carries more weight than in the other two major sports, this was the ugliest of the ugly. Some highlights:

FOUR penalties on ONE PLAY to go along with a botched punt by fill-in punter Paul Ernster. In the ugliest game ever, this was the ugliest play, and it set up an immediate Steelers touchdown. This happened in the first possession of the day.

Charlie Frye's interception. This was in the Brown's second possession, and it set up a field goal.

The Browns being down 17-0 in about 4 seconds and everyone in the stadium knowing it was all over already.

Charlie getting sacked 5 times in a QUARTER AND A HALF.

Derek Anderson throwing behind his receivers on what seemed like almost every pass.

The Browns defense completely mailing it in the second half.

Romeo Crennel being outclassed by a rookie coach.

The team being unprepared in every possible way.

An actual highlight was Gene Hickerson's Hall of Fame halftime tribute. They wheeled the Browns great--now ravaged by Alzheimer's disease--onto the turf and his son gave a touching tribute. The reel of footage they played was the only good football the crowd got to watch all afternoon.

My hotdog was delicious, but it kind of hurts to pay 21 dollars for two beers, two dogs and then be forced to watch that kind of a game. If we have to pay NFL prices for concessions, the organization could please do us the courtesy of providing a real NFL team. I mean, please. The average Browns fan is shelling out a large portion of a paycheck to watch this shit. In eight years we have seen a team go from bad to worse. And the beer was Coors Light!!!

Romeo Crennel, if his team performs against the Bengals on Sunday like it did against Pittsburgh, should be sacked. There is no reason for his team to be so disorganized. There is no reason to be flipping a coin to decide who your starters will be.

Also noteworthy was listening to the coast guard choir sing every single patriotic song in the patriotic song canon while a football field-sized American flag was unfurled. Surreal. Bizarre. Excessive.

Charlie Frye getting traded pretty much sums up how fucking absurd quarterback controversies are. The media spent weeks, months hyping up the QB situation in Cleveland. Frye was named the starter. Less than a week later he is gone. We all know who the starter will be in about two weeks. We also know who the first quarterback to be injured will be. Can you guess? Clue: his last name has the same amount of letters as Couch.

Before Sunday's game I kept hearing the phrase "Season of Dreams" floating around. Well, all the empty seats proved that not everyone out there was fooled, and the game itself sobered everyone else up real fast. You will not hear this line again for a long, long time.

Indians - Magic number: 11

Ah, a good, nay!, a very good team. The Indians just wrapped up a 7-3 road trip. Most impressive was that they split with the Angels after dropping the first two of a four game series. This team is going to be very, very tough to deal with in the postseason. And they will be in the postseason, barring a Cleveland-type meltdown.

C.C. Sabathia. He is the Cy Young winner in my books. He has owned Santana and Verlander this season and he has the chance to win 2o. He won't win, because he's from Cleveland, but when you outshine the A.L.'s best pitcher (Santana) all year, you deserve some recognition.

Your 2007 A.L. playoff teams: Cleveland, Boston, Los Angeles of Anaheim (or whatever they're calling themselves now) and, arg!, New York. I so enjoyed watching the Yankees 200 billion dollar payroll flounder all season, but, alas...

Asdrubal Cabrera. Now hear this, Cleveland: you are watching a rare talent. Do you see how he is in the middle of everything? Do you see how comfortable he looks in a major league setting? Cabrera is for real, so enjoy watching a true natural play the game.

Prediction: This is Cliff Lee's last season in a Tribe uniform.

Prediction II: Cabrera will never play in the minor leagues again.

The Indians have, in my book, four Cy Young candidates. Sabathia, Fausto Carmona, Rafael Perez and Rafael Betancourt. Each has been amazing in his respective role. Of course, setup men are never considered for this award, but the league is batting .188 against Betancourt, and for the past two years, Perez has given up exactly 1 extra base hit to left handed hitters. Find a better lefty/righty tandem in baseball. You can't. Where would this light hitting team be without them? Fighting Kansas City and Chicago for last place, is where.

You know what's been really gratifying about this season? The Tribe has owned the Central Division. Really, it's a complete turnaround from last year.

You know what's been really scary about this season? The Red Sox and especially the Yankees have owned the Indians.

Jim Thome's 499 home runs aren't really making a lot of headlines, are they? Why is that? Maybe because home runs are about a dime a dozen these days. Also, his team is horrible, but HORRIBLE. Thome is a hall of famer, but it's tough to get excited about this former Indian and all the homers he should still be hitting in a Tribe uniform. I mean, did he really sign a contract with the Phillies? I still can't get my head around that one.

Cavaliers

LeBron had laser surgery on his eyeballs. Whee!

Baseball won't last forever. The basketball season really can't get here soon enough. Same goes for the Lake Erie Monsters. Anything but the Browns.

Nate's unreasonable predition of the week:

The Browns will win three games this season. OK, two.

nwb

The Greening Project

70 incandescent lights. I counted them myself. I never would have guessed there were that many in my parents' house, but there are. 70 wasteful, damaging, outmoded and irresponsible incandescent light bulbs screwed into the sockets of our home. 70 bulbs burning fossil fuels and wasting money.

So McBone is going green. We're starting by making sure that as many incandescent lights as possible are replaced with an efficient, long lasting compact florescent light bulb (cfl), which uses 60% less energy than a regular bulb but produces the same amount of light.

We have one world to live in. One planet to pass on to our children. Our government has been negligent when it comes to global warming, but we don't have to be. There's so much we can do at home that will help keep the earth clean. Why not take this simple step? Your energy bill will go down and so will toxic carbon emissions. Find out more about cfls from the Energy Federation.

nwb

Total incandescent bulbs replaced as of 9/12/07: 11

McBone Apologizes

Gentle McBoners,

Due to a five-day internet outage at McBone Inc., we have been unable to provide the usual updates to the blog many of you have come to depend on. We can only apologize and offer our most sincere promise that the technicians at McBone Inc. are working around the clock to make sure that this unfortunate circumstance never happens again.

We at McBone thank you for your continued readership.

McBone Inc.

Reason #99 to Love Cleveland Sports: Hot Rod's Box

Cavs great John "Hot Rod" Williams. For nine seasons (1986-'95) he wore a Cavaliers uniform, half of them as a devastating backup forward, half battling valiantly as an undersized starting center.

We remember Hot Rod for many reasons. He had an unorthodox free throw shooting style where he would cock the ball almost directly behind his head (he also had a maddening habit of missing one of two). He was a great shot blocker--good for two a game. He could score, rebound, even pass a little. More than anything, though, we remember his box hairstyle--easily the finest in NBA history.

Boxes were high style when Hot Rod was manning the frontcourt at Richfield Coliseum, and he stuck with it long after they went out of fashion. Standing at 6'11", at least three of those inches belonged to his towering and immortal box.

McBone Inc.

PS. The NOML salutes Hod Rod's excellent moustache.

Poor Larry Craig

I mean that. If the United States was truly the idealistic beacon that some people seem to think it is (you know, the ones with the little US flag lapel pins), then Larry Craig could be a gay man and not have to compromise his career and his family by having to sneak around bathroom stalls.

I feel sorry for Larry Craig. He was so desperate to conceal his sexual preference that he became a conservative republican. Too bad those impulses were stronger than his adopted convictions.

Now his career is gone.

Fuck homophobia.

nwb

PS. Note the US flag pin on Craig's lapel.