Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Peanut Butter and Folly
Just a mental lapse, but, good god, what a mistake! And good god, what the fuck is wrong with us?
The peanut butter I like to spread on my toast contains but two ingredients:
Yes, the time needed to stir together the separated contents is like eleven seconds in hell, but the simple, delightful taste of roasted peanuts and salt and perhaps a drizzle of honey makes the chore worthwhile.
This peanut butter, if it can be called that, checks in at 17 ingredients:
Peanuts, corn syrup solids, sugar, soy protein, salt, fully hydrogenated vegetable oil (rapeseed and soybean), mono and diglycerides, molasses, magnesium oxide, niacinamide, ferric orthophospate, zinc oxide, copper sulfate, folic acid, pyridoxine, hydrochloride.
That's a healthy alternative? I mean, what the fuck is half that stuff?
And there's still 12 grams of fat per serving to go with the chemical infusion.
Oh, and can we talk about the taste? Since when is peanut butter supposed to have metallic undertones? Have you ever tasted a penny? I'm not crazy about the aftertaste either, for the same reason I don't care for a mouthful of drywall.
Honestly, JM Smucker Company, isn't it better to keep things simple? And come on, people, just buy the regular stuff. The peanut butter isn't hurting you. Seriously, it's the tacos made of Doritos with a side of no exercise.
I have to believe George Washington Carver dies another death every time a jar of this shit is opened.