Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Peanut Butter and Folly

I accidentally bought 'low fat' peanut butter last weekend.

Just a mental lapse, but, good god, what a mistake!  And good god, what the fuck is wrong with us?

The peanut butter I like to spread on my toast contains but two ingredients:

Peanuts, salt.

Yes, the time needed to stir together the separated contents is like eleven seconds in hell, but the simple, delightful taste of roasted peanuts and salt and perhaps a drizzle of honey makes the chore worthwhile.

This peanut butter, if it can be called that, checks in at 17 ingredients:

Peanuts, corn syrup solids, sugar, soy protein, salt, fully hydrogenated vegetable oil (rapeseed and soybean), mono and diglycerides, molasses, magnesium oxide, niacinamide, ferric orthophospate, zinc oxide, copper sulfate, folic acid, pyridoxine, hydrochloride.

That's a healthy alternative?  I mean, what the fuck is half that stuff?

And there's still 12 grams of fat per serving to go with the chemical infusion.

Oh, and can we talk about the taste?  Since when is peanut butter supposed to have metallic undertones?  Have you ever tasted a penny?  I'm not crazy about the aftertaste either, for the same reason I don't care for a mouthful of drywall.

Honestly, JM Smucker Company, isn't it better to keep things simple?  And come on, people, just buy the regular stuff.  The peanut butter isn't hurting you.  Seriously, it's the tacos made of Doritos with a side of no exercise.

I have to believe George Washington Carver dies another death every time a jar of this shit is opened.



Cinematheque for All said...

Time to start making your own peanut butter?

And is it too late to donate this elsewhere?

cait said...


McBone said...

It takes me literally one minute to make my own homemade almond butter and peanut butter in my Vitamix. It lasts just as long and tastes a million times better.

Not to mention you aren't putting anything in your body that isn't natural.

So if it tastes better, and it is better for you..is there any particular reason anyone would eat that processed garbage?

AND GUESS WHAT!!! Even if you do want to eat name brand grocery store that have an all natural brand that sits directly next to that same product on the shelves.

Simple decisions lead to healthier life. People are insane. Do you buy sunglasses that hurt your face every single time you wear them? Why would you buy food that hurts your body when you eat it?