Monday, December 13, 2010

McBone Mini-Reviews; The McBone Week in Movies

Love and Other Drugs - I came out of Love and Other Drugs thinking 'wow, that sucked.'  Since then, what little affection I had for this farce of a movie has degenerated into a smoldering contempt that will only subside when Edward Zwick's latest effort is lost and forgotten.  For those who just want to watch good-looking actors in prolonged states of nakedness screw the devil out of each other, LaODs is for you.  I'll admit Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal make a lively couple, and the film thrives when their Maggie and Jamie are together...alone...and boning.  Anne and Jake, last matched in an infinitely superior film about unlikely lovers, have real chemistry, but the actors can't save this saccharine tale of a Parkinson's victim and her heroic Pfizer rep of a boyfriend who makes it big during the Viagra boom of the mid 90s but still has the decency to stand by his burden of a girlfriend. Ever seen An Affair to Remember?  Rich, handsome fellow condescends to accept a cripple as his life companion?  Same deal here, except it's no longer 1957 and by now we should be expecting more than the same old cheap little tugs at our heartstrings.  Beware the last half hour, when the emotional shamelessness of it all spins totally out of control.

I'm not done yet, because you know what really rubs me raw about LaODs?  The ham-handed attempt at comic relief in the form of Josh Gad.  Whenever the film threatens to get too serious, in rides Jamie's rich, fat, horny, dumbass of a brother, here to save the day with some lowbrow moments.  The part is so ineptly written it would be right at home smack in the middle of Star Wars, Episode II.  One day, long after we have accepted LGBTs as actual humans, the champions of civil rights will take up the cause of the overweight and obese.  Honestly, can we stop making the fat guy the clown?  How about we make the clown someone who is actually funny?  Josh Gad ain't, and neither are his lines.

Whatever.  Boo!  1.5 McBones

Meet the Parents - So crushingly dumb that the only thing that could possibly make it more inane would be to insert those insufferable Hollywood hams Streisand and Hoffman into a sequel.  Earns one point because the holidays have me in a generous mood.  1.0 McBones

The Bond Project: My sometimes popular wife and I will be watching the James Bond movies in chronological order and offering succinct yet cutting-edge insight into the evolving world of 007.


N: For many, the pinnacle of Bond on film.  So much is iconic here: girl painted gold, Oddjob and his hat, industrial laser zoning in on Her Majesty's deadliest weapon and, of course, Pussy Galore--the coolest, smartest and toughest of all Bond girls.  In his first effort, director Guy Hamilton takes Terence Young's momentum and runs with it.  By now Connery so fully owns the role that no subsequent actor can possibly measure up.  4.5 McBones

A: Pussy Galore is so far the most multidimensional and interesting of the Bond girls, even if she does end up changing her whole plan after a visit from Bond's member.  I sure find it annoying that the non-Bond girls have to die in rather spectacular ways.  Pretty horrible.  2.5 McBones


1 comment:

Kid Shay said...

That really is a bummer. I will see LaOD anyway, but I was hoping there would be something redeeming about it.

I can't believe you watched Meet the Parents. Didn't you know you're supposed to skip every other Ben Stiller movie?

I liked the homage to Goldfinger on the latest Bond movie: a girl covered in oil.