When Alex recently returned from a two-week trip to the balmy, tropical wilds of Champaign, Illinois, she brought back for me the typical souvenir of the region: an El Salvadorean machete. Forged using methods lost to modern man and baptized in blood, this mythical metal blade possesses powers beyond the reckoning of most mortals. Indeed, it is said this machete can only be wielded by one who is true of heart and pure of spirit.
Armed with my machete, nothing can stop me. The enemies of McBone have been put on notice. Stay the hell out of my way, or I'll lop your goddam head off!