Wednesday, December 3, 2008

To the Villains and Fiends, I Sing


To a writer, the world is not a boring place, nor are its inhabitants, good and bad. Though we curse and condemn them in poetry and prose, we also owe a debt of gratitude to those who refuse to play by the rules, who lie, cheat, steal or are simply hellbent on world domination. What would storytelling be, after all, without antagonists? A honey-sweet and sickening mess of beneficence and goodwill. Who the hell wants that? No one picks up a book hoping for 400 pages of happiness.

Evildoers are the ones who color our world, who are so constant and generous with their misanthropy that our creative wells shall never run dry. And so today we salute you, the:


1. Ne'er-do-wells
2. Popinjays
3. Scoundrels
4. Nogoodnicks
5. Charlatans
6. Slyboots
7. Malingerers
8. Mountebanks
9. Rascals
10. Rapscallions
11. Rabble-rousers
12. Hucksters
13. Shysters
14. Hooligans
15. Conspirators
16. Rogues
17. Rednecks
18. Philistines
19. Wastrels
20. Interlopers
21. Dastards
22. Dilettantes
23. Turncoats
24. Ruffians
25. Vagabonds
26. Hellions
27. Phonies
28. Pessimists
29. Pilferers
30. Misanthropes
31. Sluggards
32. Poseurs
33. Nincompoops
34. Ragamuffins
35. Strumpets
36. Coxcombs
37. Rakes
38. Churls
39. Cheaters
40. Boors
41. Braggarts
42. Vulgarians
43. Vixens
44. Pirates
45. Blusterers
46. Freeloaders
47. Villains
48. Vandals
49. Hustlers
50. Courtesans
51. Sneaks
52. Brigands
53. Miscreants
54. Blackguards
55. Trespassers
56. Malefactors
57. Megalomaniacs
58. Lallygaggers
59. Louts
60. Tramps
61. Pickpockets
62. Boobs
63. Meddlers
64. Scalawags
65. Hussies
66. Oafs
67. Lechers
68. Libertines
69. Naysayers
70. Nitpickers
71. Trollops
72. Tricksters
73. Fiends
74. Cads
75. Blatherskites
76. Scapegraces
77. Sycophants
78. Gadflies
79. Curmudgeons
80. Reprobates
81. Degenerates
82. Maniacs
83. Racketeers
84. Confidence-men
85. Sinners
86. Hypocrites
87. Swindlers
88. Prodigal sons
89. Grifters
90. Frauds
91. Doublecrossers
92. Sharpers
93. Thieves
94. Bullies
95. Tyrants
96. Troublemakers
97. Deviants
98. Nemeses
99. Plunderers
100. Mutineers

nwb

2 comments:

Kid Shay said...

I thought for a few minutes, then came up with:

101. Reapers

An impressive list. It made me glance furtively behind me, as if reading all these evil-doers' names would invoke their presence.

Excellent hero/enemy of the month, by the way. Your longing is palpable.

Anonymous said...

Impressive list, indeed.

When I think of antagonists, I think about that scene with Harvey Korman's list of antagonists in "Blazing Saddles."

But what about "Thick As Thieves"?

kb