Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Bigotry at McBone?

All right McBoners, I've been letting this sit idle for a few weeks, but the time has come to have it out. While our latest polling reveals an overwhelmingly liberal climate in McBone Nation, there is a small segment of loyal readers who have a more conservative bent.

I can forgive the seven McCain supporters. I don't pretend to understand how the guy garnered a single vote on November 4th, considering how unhip it is to be a republican these days, but, you know, whatever. Actually, no. Screw that. I take it back. I'm not letting you off the hook so easily. I mean, what the hell? You had a choice between Obama and McCain and you actually picked McCain? Come on, people. I can't even figure out how the Republican party still exists after an unmitigated eight-year debacle. Even that old 'Party of Lincoln' stuff has to be running on fumes by now. I have a strong feeling that if Lincoln had risen from the grave and lurched zombie-like to the nearest polling place last month he would have: a) been dazzled and perplexed by the touch-screen voting, b) eventually cast his vote for Obama, and c) gone on a flesh-eating rampage.

So, I guess I just don't get it. And what I really don't get is how someone clicks onto McBone and has the audacity to condemn gay marriage, and even go so far as to call homosexuality satanic. Cripes, you three people, what's the deal with you? With this laundry list of things that are wrong with the world, do you actually think homosexuality would be high on His list of priorities? And what the hell is your problem with homosexuality anyway? I mean, I suppose it's an interesting civil rights issue because homosexuality, unlike skin color, can be a choice. I have a strong inclination toward women, but I could easily shag a dude one time and think 'OK, I've shagged a dude and it was interesting and that's that.' But then there are all these millions of people who are gay and there isn't too much they can do about it. Well, obviously they can lead heterosexual lifestyles and I'm sure many people spend a whole lifetime fighting against their nature in order to conform to whatever they feel the need to conform to, but who wants to live like that? Not me.

The point is, these people think being gay is bad because they were told by a minister or a parent or someone that being gay is bad. But if any one of them was stranded on a desert island with another member of the same sex, don't you think they would eventually do it? You BET they would do it! How do I know? Because everyone wants to get their rocks off on way or another. People have sex. They always have. They always will. Come on, you three conservative McBoners. Stay Republican if you must, but get over the gay thing.



Kid Shay said...

I'm shocked it even needs to be said, but you have said it well.

Andrew said...

Nice post, Nate.

Waiting to hear what you have to say about Rick Warren! (I have been disappointed in the responses of the Obamafans. Clearly, they need to start diluting the Kool Aid.)