Monday, October 20, 2008

Red Sox Go Home!

Any baseball season in which the Indians fail to qualify for the postseason is a bad season. The consolation prize is that the Yankees, in the final year of their precious little shrine of a stadium, also failed to qualify. Yes, every spring I cast a couple of prayers to the Baseball Gods, hoping they will see fit to bless my Indians, and that a horrible, flesh-eating plague will be visited upon the New York Yankees. God, if I have to read one more article about that goddam Joba Chamberlain...

And how sweet is it that the Red Sox were eliminated this week by the Tampa Bay Rays? Very sweet, for I loathe the Red Sox with a hate nearly as pure as that which burns for the Yankees. I loathe Youkilis and Pedroia, Papelbon and Beckett. A pox upon this team, and every Red Sox team to come.

Now, let's get Charlie Manual the World Series ring he deserves.

McBone Most Hated Sports Franchises:

1) The New York Yankees. The Evil Empire has been pounding my Indians for 100 years and counting. Most hated Yankee: Derek Jeter.

2) The Boston Red Sox. Seeing a team with Manny Ramirez and Coco Crisp beat the Tribe and win the world series is a blow I'll never get over. Most hated Red Sox: Jonathan Papelbon.

3) The Pittsburgh Steelers. Someday, somehow, the Browns will beat this team again, and the old rivalry will be restored. Most hated Steeler: Terry Bradshaw.

4) The Boston Celtics. The Yankees of basketball. I throw up in my mouth every time I think about this team winning a title in the LeBron James era. Most hated Celtic: tie, Danny Ainge and Paul Pierce.

5) The Denver Broncos. Three times the Browns faced John Elway's Broncos in the AFC championship game. Three times, Elway won. To this day, I would love to break John Elway's teeth. Most hated Bronco: duh, Elway, always and forever.

6) The Detroit Pistons. Always an antagonizing team, whether featuring the likes of Laimbeer, Mahorn, Thomas and Rodman, or the modern gang of miscreants, Billups, Hamilton, Prince and Wallace. Most hated Piston: tie, Bill Laimbeer and Rasheed Wallace.

7) The Florida Marlins. In their short history, the Marlins have won as many World Series as the Indians have since 1901, including one against the Indians. Disgusting. Most hated Marlin: Craig Counsell.

8) The Chicago Bulls. Five times Michael Jordan eliminated the Cavs from the postseason. Five. As in Five times in five attempts. Most hated Bull: Michael Jordan.

9) The Dallas Cowboys. America's team? Screw that. Who outside Dallas ever wants to see the Cowboys win again? Most hated Cowboy: Pacman Jones.

10) The Oakland Raiders. There has always been something disgusting about the Oakland Raiders, probably due to the pure evil streaming from its owner. Most hated Raider: Mike Davis.

nwb

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Come on, McBone...

you know deep down that there's envy there for all these teams. At least, they've all won championships in the last fifteen years.

(Well, maybe not the Raiders...and why the hell is Al Davis not on this list?! That man should burn in hell for eternity! )

And what about the Ravens? Shouldn't they be added to this list as well?

kb

Nate and Jeff Bowler, Co-Captains said...

Envy? God damned right I'm envious.

Al Davis didn't intercept the pass on Red Right 88, but you're right. He'll have a nice cozy little spot next to Art Modell. And I do not acknowledge that there is a team called the "Ravens."

nwb

K Slates said...

Of all that is wrong with the Cowboys, you choose a guy that played 6 games for them? Emmitt Smith, Michael Irvin, Nate Newton, Jerry Jones, Terrel Owens.

Oh how I hate the Cowboys

Saurabh Gupta said...

I was diasppointed to see the Ravens missing from your list. I think any self-respecting browns fan should hate them MORE then the steelers.

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Nate and Jeff Bowler, Co-Captains said...

Saurabh, wow, great to see you, and thanks for visiting! I agree with you to a point. I don't think I can hate any football team as much as the Steelers. The Ravens? I still do not accept that our team, the city's most beloved team, was torn away, renamed, repackaged and won a Super Bowl. That just did not happen. I can't acknowledge such a thing in my version of reality (aka fantasy). Only Brooklyn Dodger fans could know such pain. Art Modell is the great sports villain of our time. But like I said, that never happened and I don't know what you or kb are talking about.

nwb

Nate and Jeff Bowler, Co-Captains said...

Slates,

I know where you're coming from, but to me, Jones represents all that is truly reprehensible about the Cowboys. Why the hell would they ever sign this guy? Because they're the Cowboys.

But you're right. Jimmy Johnson is the one that I truly can't stand.

nwb

Anonymous said...

And while we're on the most hated list, why isn't Ozzie Newsome on this list? For god sakes, that man is as guilty as Modell for that team leaving and then winning a Super Bowl in Balt-more!

Give him hell, McBone!

kb

Nate and Jeff Bowler, Co-Captains said...

Ozzie...my...favorite...Brown...

I weep.

nwb