Stabbone and McGraw: Forty Ounces of Lard!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Forty Ounces of Lard!

$4.54 won't get you much in today's economy. Fortunately, we can always count on the low, low cost of rendered pig fat. Slap down five dollars at Kroger and you can walk away with a 40 ounce tub of lard and some change. Oh, the fun I am going to have with my very own bucket. Won't you join me?

Ah, lard. Lard has so many, many uses. Baking. Frying. Manufacturing soap. Me, I like to find a nice comfy spot on the sofa, pop in a movie and go to work with a spoon. I'm not above using my finger to find those last little gobs at the bottom. I also like to sneak up on old ladies in the park in the afternoon and smear lard on their faces. My wife absolutely hates it when I do that, and she would certainly prefer that I got a job, but I just ignore her threats to divorce me and go to bed each night clutching tight my favorite 40 ounce tub of goodness.

nwb

1 comment:

Kid Shay said...: It's posts like this that make me proud to be a McBone Follower.

Choosing between wife and tub of lard may be one of the hardest decisions a man has to make.; October 22, 2008 at 10:52 AM

Post a Comment

The Legend of Stabbone and McGraw

In 1967 the world's most powerful criminal super-genius, Stabbone, stole ten trillion dollars worth of gold boullion. Police, baffled as to the whereabouts of Stabbone's purported impenetrable underground lair, called on top investigator Rock McGraw to crack the case. Working tirelessly day after day, McGraw eventually tracked Stabbone to an abandoned latex mask factory. While McGraw radioed the boys for backup, Stabbone made his daring escape. In the chaos that ensued, both disappeared. Thirty years later, the case of Stabbone and McGraw remains a mystery, though some say that McGraw remains undercover, in relentless pursuit of his evil arch-nemesis.