Thursday, October 2, 2008

Blah, Blah, Blah

So, after listening to almost two hours of her down-home, chicken-fried brand of debate and speechifying (how many times can she say the word darn?) here's what I can deduce about Sarah Palin.

1) She's from A-LAska, by golly.

2) She supports tax cuts. This pretty much comprises one half of the Republican credo, even though taxes pay for our infrastructure, even though the economy was undeniably in better shape before the Bush tax cuts, even though many of the most successful nations in the world have much higher taxes than we do, even though so many of our citizens live without basic human needs, like health care, while CEOs are rewarded millions in severance for driving their companies into the ground.

3) She says the surge is working, but believes that a 16-month plan to withdraw from Iraq (Eye-rack) is "waving a white flag of surrender."

4) She insists that she's just like any other "Joe Six-Pack, hockey mom" American who wears a pair of 700 dollar glasses.

5) She supports energy independence, which is of course why it's SO critical that we win in Iraq and stay there for who knows how long. She also mentioned alternative fuels a total of zero times by my count.

6) She doesn't mind that same sex couples exist, just as long as they don't expect to be treated like straight couples.

7) "Nukiler." "Nuliker." "Noo-liquor." Whatever. She can't pronounce the damned word any better than that shithead president Bush. And she doesn't really care for diplomacy with countries she considers a threat, even though a lack of diplomacy created the greatest foreign policy catastrophe in recent memory. Of course "looking back" at past mistakes is something only losers like Joe Biden do.

8) Coming from the only arctic state, she has seen first-hand the frightening reality of global warming, and yet she doesn't really believe in it.

9) Hence she wants to drill, baby, drill!

10) She supports more regulation on Wall Street, even though she's on a ticket with a guy who has always endorsed deregulation.

That's about it for now, folks. I've been swilling martinis and I can't really keep this coherent anymore. Sarah Palin sucks. It's so obvious. I'm going to bed.

Alex's take: Obviously I think Biden is a zillion times better, but I'm kind of mystified that no one saw fit to mention the poor at all. These speeches were directed at the middle class and it seems to me that the reason for the omission is that they don't think the poor vote, so why bother? But then why would the poor bother voting if neither one of the VP candidates bothers addressing them even once?



Anonymous said...

She has done so bad this last week and her expectations were so low that all she had to do was not fall over to be a success. However, that moment that Joe Biden started to choke up about raising kids as a single dad…game over, she was toast. It didn’t help that she never answered the questions that were asked, she just recited her lines from debate camp
Alex- the middle class is the new poor. We might all lose our houses soon.


Kid Shay said...

Good points, both of you. Might I add that it was more than a little creepy how both McCain and Palin swoon over Reagan like he was some kind of returned messiah? And that Palin seemed to depend on cue cards? It was a barfingly good time.