Thursday, November 4, 2010

Spronk, Come Get Your Lunch

Dear Spronk,

Just a friendly reminder: your leftover lunch is still in our fridge.  Remember?  You put it there about two months ago and told us explicitly not to throw it away?  You were pretty adamant about it too, maybe even borderline passive aggressive.  I recall you said something about 'starving kids in China,' as if to imply we make a regular habit of cooking up vast meals for the sole purpose of dumping them in the trash.  Well, we've obeyed your orders, Spronk, but we're beginning to wonder if you didn't forget about your poor little leftover lunch.  See, it's beginning to molder a bit, this Pyrex filled with pasta and what appears to be a slice of rapidly disintegrating bread.  Oh, and I think there are a couple of flaccid strands (the term 'spears' is no longer applicable) of what was once asparagus buried near the bottom.  A gaseous buildup is making the cover bulge slightly.  I tried venting the container to avoid calamity and let me tell you, the burp of advancing decomposition was pretty overpowering. 

Anyways, we'll hang on to your lunch for as long as you want us to.  It's here when you need it.  I'm not sure I recommend ingesting any of the stuff at this point, but I suppose you know best.

Love,

nwb

6 comments:

creative jenny said...

Nate, I just had my lunch, are you mad? please tell me that this is all a joke and that this leftover is not inside your fridge....poor tia... I happen to have a serious condition about bacteria.... yaicks! help! who is mad Spronk?

Mari Ani said...

Brilliant post!!! I love this. It made my day so much better :D

SPRONK said...

Hmph. First of all, it's only been there two weeks, and I haven't been to your house since then. Second of all, I have done much worse than that, but can't reply to this post with an image. Third of all, I feel mildly exploited.

McBone said...

Tia, I'm afraid it's true, true, true. I'm afraid the question 'who is Spronk' is a difficult one that would require its own separate post to answer.

Mari, Cool! Thanks!

Spronk, Feeling exploited? I'll cook some meat for you and make it better.

nwb

creative jenny said...

No you don't mean that.....you need a Bagatela visit to understand why a fridge is so important to me...lunch and dinner served on the terrace will do it!
Spronk: please instruct Nate otherwise, this is a request from my stomach.... (^-^) help!

McBone said...

If Spronk wants me to throw her leftover lunch away, I will. I don't know why she insists on keeping it in our fridge.

nwb