What Happened to McBone?

Have you ever been stuck? In a rut? Spinning your wheels, as it were? Boy, I sure am. Perhaps you've noticed that McBone hasn't been itself lately. Well, due to our relocation to Indiana and a trip to New York, I've been a bit tied up lately. Now that I'm back, I can't quite seem to find that good old, down-home, extra-chewy McBone goodness on which you've all grown to depend. Like heroin, McBone is addictive. Unlike heroin, we're nutritious too, and since our inception way back in 2007, we've tried to sprinkle a little McBone everywhere and on everything. Remember wheat germ? That's us.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: I'm sorry. Like any good dealer, I've carefully nurtured your dependency. What you didn't expect was to be suddenly cut off from your supply. I imagine that the last month or so must have been a bit like going cold turkey. Oh, the suffering you've surely endured--sweats, shakes, nausea, long nights of sleepless terror.

Well, I may be down, but I'm not out. I'm willing to make some lifestyle changes in order to bring you, my dear McBoners, a more satisfactory McBone experience every time you log on. Here are a few measures I am already taking:

Binge drinking

Carousing

Oversleeping

Fearmongering

Grab-assing

Scratching

Belching

Overeating

Smoking

And whatever else it takes, McBoners, I'll do. I promise I'll find the inspiration that has made McBone the number one anti-mayonnaise, pro-Cleveland blog in the sphere. You have my official McBone Guarantee.

nwb