Monday, November 17, 2008

Garish Pink Gown Holds Country Music Star Captive

On Saturday McBone field agents in Nashville, Indiana spotted a giant pink dress that appeared to contain country music legend Loretta Lynn. The dress, flashing sequins, emerged suddenly on the stage of the Little Nashville Opry, blinding many of the unsuspecting patrons and beguiling others with a thousand pinpoints of hypnotizing light.

The music icon, held captive and possibly under the command of the ornate and extremely pink gown, launched into a set of her own country standards, including One's on the Way, You're Looking at Country and Coal Miner's Daughter.

The demon garment, no doubt sewn by a sinister archfiend from some evil nether-realm, is reportedly still at large. If confronted, extreme caution should be taken. Under no circumstance should the Loretta Lynn dress be approached, addressed, or stared at for extended intervals. Remember, the Loretta Lynn dress has a will of its own, and should not be underestimated.

Pictured above: McBone agents disguised as outlandishly dressed background singers attempt to extract Loretta Lynn from her hideous pink dress.



Kid Shay said...

Do we know if the dress was symbiotically attached to Loretta?

Nate and Jeff Bowler, Co-Captains said...

Perhaps. My attempts to extract her from the garment with pinking shears proved unsuccessful when I was wrestled to the ground by security.


Kid Shay said...

You're a hero! McBonafide!

Anonymous said...

what a mean thing to say about a lovely lady and her dressmaker.