Yesterday my wife, Alex, achieved a milestone in her life when she successfully navigated the mean streets of Stow, Ohio and then maneuvered the McBonemobile through a perilous obstacle course consisting of five orange cones, a gauntlet of attacking monkeys and a pit of molten lead--all under the close observation of a bilious, 450 pound, sweating, grunting, flatulent and moustachioed DMV officer named Mary. Alex, though nervous, remained calm throughout. Her reward? A little plastic card granting her the right to fly solo.
At the youthful and sprightly age of 31, roughly six years after learning to ride a bike, Alex has earned her driver's license. Though starting almost from scratch, Alex overcame her transportational barrier with the help of the McBone School of Driver Education and master driver, Nate Bowler, who assembled a makeshift maneuverability practice facility using a church parking lot, some bricks, sticks, and some left over glittery blue fabric that had once been used to construct a set of fairy wings.
After months of hard work, she breezed through the test. McBone congratulates Alex for her achievement, and wishes her a lifetime of safe and happy driving.
Pictured top: Alex flaunts her license outside the DMV
Center: Nate assembles practice maneuverability facility
Bottom: Alex takes the McBonemobile out for a spin sans husband