Stabbone and McGraw: McBone Takes Manhattan

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

McBone Takes Manhattan

As you may or, more likely, may not have noticed, McBone posts have been mysteriously sparse of late. Perhaps you were thinking that your worst fears had been realized, that the McBone well had run dry, that McBone's cutting-edge had finally been blunted against that big, bad granite slab called life.

Fear not, gentle McBoners. McBone's unique blend of social commentary, sports and anti-mayonnism is alive and well.

But even McBone needs a vacation from time to time, and so Alex and I packed our bags and deserted McBone HQ for some much-needed R&R in the Big Apple, where my erstwhile adoring wife assaulted me with a deadly weapon, opening a gash that I fear will forever mar my heretofore handsome visage.

My crime? Ogling eighteen-year-old Clare Tyson (of the New York Tysons).

But what's a little head wound (I should also mention that I got my head cut playing a little Guitar Hero against virtual guitar virtuoso, Aidan Tyson) when you're gallivanting on the grand avenues of the greatest city in the world? After a splash of peroxide, I slapped on a Band-Aid and was good to go. Alex and I gathered up the shattered pieces of our marriage and managed to spend a wonderful week in Manhattan, meeting old friends and stuffing our faces.

Renewed and refreshed, I pledge to bring to you out there in McBone Nation much more of what you have become hopelessly addicted to: that extra special, undiluted, unpasteurized, wholesome, homegrown, olde-tyme, organic, free-range and lactose-free McBone goodness.

nwb

Oozing gash compliments of Fiona Tyson, McBone Division of Hair and Makeup.

2 comments:

Kid Shay said...: Manhattan has been known to destroy even the most solid of marriages; consider yourself lucky you escaped with a mere partial lobotomy.

Good to have you back blogging full-time. The blogosphere was getting fat and lazy in your absence.; March 26, 2008 at 5:17 PM
BillBow Baggins said...: Thanks, Kid. Good to be back. It's kind of funny that our cab driver thought I was really bleeding, and he wanted to take me to a hospital right away. I told him, no, I was all right, but he was truly worried.

nwb; March 26, 2008 at 5:27 PM

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The Legend of Stabbone and McGraw

In 1967 the world's most powerful criminal super-genius, Stabbone, stole ten trillion dollars worth of gold boullion. Police, baffled as to the whereabouts of Stabbone's purported impenetrable underground lair, called on top investigator Rock McGraw to crack the case. Working tirelessly day after day, McGraw eventually tracked Stabbone to an abandoned latex mask factory. While McGraw radioed the boys for backup, Stabbone made his daring escape. In the chaos that ensued, both disappeared. Thirty years later, the case of Stabbone and McGraw remains a mystery, though some say that McGraw remains undercover, in relentless pursuit of his evil arch-nemesis.