Saturday, June 2, 2007

Ten Things to Hate About the Detroit Pistons

The Pistons. Why are they always annoying? From the "Bad Boys" days of Laimbeer, Mahorn, Rodman and Isiah to now, I have had nothing but a pure, unadulterated, unpasteurized hate for them. Here are 10 great reasons why you should hate them too!
10) They always bitch at the officials, no matter how obvious the foul.
9) Tayshaun Prince's pale, skeletal form. This guy is somehow a professional athlete without having been born with a muscular system. Looks like he should be rushed to the emergency room, not playing NBA basketball.
8) "Dee-troit Basketball."
7) Chauncey Billups getting a call whenever anyone so much as looks at him. His drive to the lane at the end of regulation in game 5 was the biggest bail-out in the playoffs so far.
6) Pistons' sense of entitlement. Somehow they seem to think it's insulting that they should have to play three rounds of playoff basketball before making the finals.
5) Richard Hamilton's stupid nickname, "Rip."
4) Dick Hamilton's stupid facemask.
3) Chris Webber dogging it for the Sixers so he could get released and signed by a good team. He is not and has never been good enough to get one of his teams to the finals.
2) They always, always throw cheap shots to the head. Remember when Rick Mahorn gave Mark Price a concussion? Well, they are still the dirtiest team in the league. Remember Rasheed Wallace giving Zydrunas Ilgauskas an elbow to the head, requiring stitches? Not much has changed, and in this playoffs it was Antonio McDyess clotheslining Anderson Varejao. Anyone who doesn't think it was a dirty play is obviously a Pistons fan. And not many people seemed to notice Richard Hamilton's elbow to LeBron's head in overtime.
1) Rasheed Wallace. He whines. He throws elbows. He's arrogant. He's dirty. He is the embodiment of Pistons basketball since the early eighties.


Slates said...

10) That applies to everyone in the NBA.
9) Tayshaun is damn good and the Cavs would love to have him.
8) Got nothing for that, I am sure it is annoying to every non-Piston fan
7) It was the end of the first OT and he was hacked across the arm. There have been phantom calls through out the series, against both teams. It happens all the time in the NBA
6) Makes no sense.
5) Stupid nickname? How about Stabbone & McGraw...
4) Got nothing. It protects him from breaking his nose and missing time
3) Pistons are better with Maxiell or McDyess on the floor anyway. Screw C-Webb
2) While it was a hard foul, Sideshow Bob flops all the time and made that foul worse than what it really was.
1) You would love him too. Its amazing what a new jersey can do for a guy...

Nate and Jeff Bowler, Co-Captains said...

Now this is why this blog was designed. Some good old fashioned debating between people on the opposite sides of the bridge.

Slates I respect your intelligence to know that following this blog can give you a little change of pace every day at work.

But I hate the Pistons almost as much as I hate you! I also know that I have never been more nervous/fired up before a game in my life.

I can't believe you aren't watching. How are you going to stand it.

Fuck you and fuck the Pistons! Go Cavs!!!!!

Nate and Jeff Bowler, Co-Captains said...

All right, Slates...

10)True, but the Pistons REALLY take bitching to a new level.
9)The Cavs may want Tayshaun, but not I.
8)Yep. REALLY annoying.
7)You're right, it was at the end of the first OT. Sorry. Still a joke.
6)Makes perfect sense. There's a certain arrogance when they say constantly that they beat themselves as opposed to anything the Cavs do.
4)He only wears it to bug me. I know it.
3)Yeah, screw C-Webb (on the topic of stupid nicknames, I can't stand this idiotic trend of taking a player's first initial and the first syllable of their last name and passing it off as a nickname. Whatever happened to the likes of "The Splendid Splinter," or "Rapid Robert?").
2)Yep, Varejao is pretty theatrical. Dirty play. Good ejection. Glad the league's letting McDyess play game 6.
1)OK, I would, ugh, take Rasheed. You've got me there. He's a hell of a player. No way I'm taking Prince.

Slates said...

Congrats on making it to the finals. I still hate Cleveland almost as much as I hate Michigan. I hope they get swept.

Pistons run is officially over. My guess is that Chauncey opts out and doesn't re-sign with Detroit. Honestly, when I look at the 5 guys that are on the floor fot both teams, I have no idea whatsoever how the Cavs won the series. Unreal. Oh well, it's not the end of the world.

Nate and Jeff Bowler, Co-Captains said...

Just two final points:

1) Brian Windhorst was kind enough to point something out in today's Beacon Journal: "The Pistons had the second-fewest fouls called on them this season and the most technicals."

Kind of drives home my point no. 10, doesn't it?

2) I take it back. I wouldn't let Rasheed Wallace within a 100 mile radius of my team. He single-handedly transformed the Pistons into a spoiled, whining, crybaby team.

Oh, and the Cavs won't get swept.