Stabbone and McGraw: Food Club Mayonnase

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Smoke Winston Instead

You need proof that the world is a dirty, rotten, filthy, stinking, godforsaken, rat-infested place with worms and maggots crawling all over it? Look no further than this display of Food Club Mayonnaise, encountered while I innocently browsed the aisles of the local Kroger. This furtive shot taken with my camera phone reveals what mayonnaise is retailing at these days.

Why this sort of thing is tolerated in public spaces, I have no idea. At $2.69, a 32 ounce jar of Food Club Mayo is no bargain. Considering the health care costs of long term mayonnaise abuse, you're much better off buying a pack of Winstons at twice the price.

nwb

The Legend of Stabbone and McGraw

In 1967 the world's most powerful criminal super-genius, Stabbone, stole ten trillion dollars worth of gold boullion. Police, baffled as to the whereabouts of Stabbone's purported impenetrable underground lair, called on top investigator Rock McGraw to crack the case. Working tirelessly day after day, McGraw eventually tracked Stabbone to an abandoned latex mask factory. While McGraw radioed the boys for backup, Stabbone made his daring escape. In the chaos that ensued, both disappeared. Thirty years later, the case of Stabbone and McGraw remains a mystery, though some say that McGraw remains undercover, in relentless pursuit of his evil arch-nemesis.